Forever and Three Years
by Veldeia
Summary: A week after Sha're's death, an alternate Daniel arrives through the quantum mirror with his sad story. But will both Daniels survive the meeting?
1. Arrival

Author's Intro: After a Season 9 story with an über-mirror, I'm going back to Season 3 to do an old-fashioned quantum mirror story. It's going to be pretty Daniel-centric, what with two Daniels in it, but there should be lots of team too. And lots of angst. Takes place right after Forever in a Day. This is how it begins:

* * *

Daniel bit his teeth together and pressed his hand tightly against his wounded side. He had to keep running, he was almost there. Almost free. God, it hurt. He'd never been shot before, not like this, with a bullet, with a regular pistol. It'd always been zats and staff weapons and hand devices and odd alien things.

He had to stop, just for a while, to lean on the wall and try to gather himself. His hair was falling in front of his eyes, and he brushed it aside. His fingers were slick with blood.

The shouts and steps were approaching too quickly. It shouldn't have come to this. He'd always managed before, had always been able to speak himself out of any trouble. People had always listened to him. But this time, he'd been stupid, he'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now they had him cornered and he had no choice.

He had to keep going. Run.

Daniel pushed himself away from the wall and ran. The pain radiated down towards his leg, making him limp.

A bullet hit the floor at his feet, and a few more ricocheted in the corridor. Too near. But he was almost there.

One turn around the corner, and there it was, the door he'd been looking for, and the guards he'd expected. He gave them no time, just pulled his zat and shot them. Once. Just shoot them once. No, shit, he'd hit that one twice. He was dead. No time to worry about that. Keep running.

Daniel picked the keycard from one of the guards, put it in the slot and pushed the door open. He closed it behind him and zatted it a few times.

His way out, his salvation, stood at the back of the room. He walked to the wall and opened one compartment. The remote controller was there, right in its place. He picked it up, turned the device on, and put the remote in his pocket. They wouldn't find him. They wouldn't be able to follow him.

He touched the mirror.

Just as the door burst open behind him and a shower of bullets hailed the room, Daniel disappeared in a bright flash.

* * *

Jack turned to look at Daniel, crossed his arms and sighed. God, he hated seeing his friend like this.

Daniel sat on the sofa, his hands wrapped around him as if he was cold. His gaze was pointed at the TV, but the look on his face was absent, like he had no idea of what he was watching.

Anyone who could watch three episodes of the Simpsons in a row without as much as a grin had to be really low.

Jack wondered if this had been such a good idea after all, but both Teal'c and Carter had agreed with him on that. They had to try something.

A week after Sha're's death, most of the physical trauma Daniel had suffered had healed completely. Still, he was broken. Jack knew she had been the thing that had kept him going, the center of his world, the reason he went through the gate.

The hope of finding Sha're and getting her back had always been there. Now, it was gone forever. She was gone, and by Teal'c's hand, no less. Jack had been surprised to hear that Daniel didn't blame Teal'c and forgave him right away. He wondered if that was what Daniel really thought, or if it was just a facade. If he just said it because he wanted to be friendly, even though deep down he hated Teal'c for what he'd done.

Jack knew perfectly well what it was like. He couldn't really say if he'd ever truly gotten over losing Charlie. He'd almost killed himself for it. Daniel had changed that, had helped him start again. And now he had to help Daniel as best he could.

They all wanted to help Daniel cope with losing his wife, but it was difficult. Carter looked almost as sad as he did, sitting next to him. They'd tried to act as normally as they could without offending him in his grief. Still, they'd ended up being silent most of the time.

Jack sat down at Daniel's other side. "Look, Daniel, we don't need to watch this if you don't want to."

"It's all right, Jack," the answer came in a flat tone.

"We could just do something else. We could play something--how about Monopoly? Or Scrabble? No, wait, not that, since you'd beat us all right away..."

"Whatever."

Jack sighed again. Doc Fraiser had already started bugging him about how he thought Daniel was handling this. And if he thought Daniel would like to talk to someone. After that incident with Machello's devices and supposed schizophrenia, neither of them wanted to jump to any conclusions. But if this went on...

No, Daniel just needed time. They'd be back in business soon enough.

"Colonel O'Neill, I require assistance," Teal'c called out from the kitchen.

"Teal'c, my friend... If you've broken anything, you're SO in trouble," Jack declared, and stood up again, heading to see what was the matter.

* * *

"Nothing has been broken. I am simply unable to carry all these vessels alone."

Colonel O'Neill cast an assessing look at Teal'c's achievements.

"The salad and the steaks look great, but what's with the black stuff on the donuts?"

"It is chocolate icing. Have I failed to create it correctly?"

"Uh... I'm sure it's great. Just a bit... dark, ya know. It's supposed to be brown. Anyway, let's get them to the table."

He didn't sound very convincing. Teal'c was taken aback. He'd followed the recipe to the letter, but obviously he had made a mistake. It did not matter--it might even appear humorous to the others, and lighten the atmosphere.

Just as they were about to pick up the platters and bowls, the phone rang.

"O'Neill."

Teal'c saw the slightly annoyed look on Colonel O'Neill's face change into a puzzled one.

"What? Wounded? No, no, he's right here with me-" he covered the receiver with his hand and looked at Teal'c. "Go check if Daniel's still there, will ya?"

Teal'c frowned at what he'd heard. The words wounded and Daniel had appeared close enough to each other to make him worried. But he did as he was asked. Daniel Jackson was indeed still there, seated on the sofa next to Captain Carter, looking withdrawn and full of grief. Wounded in the soul.

"Daniel Jackson has not left his place, Colonel O'Neill."

O'Neill nodded, and continued talking to the telephone.

"There's got to be some mistake--wait, where'd you say you're calling from? Area 51? Looked at that quantum mirror thing lately?"

There was a long pause, during which O'Neill began to look somewhat less puzzled, and nodded several times.

"Yes, yeah, I think--Right, sure. We'll be there to pick him up." He closed the phone and gestured at the food. "I think we'll need to skip the donuts or we'll be late."

"Late from where?"

"We're going to pick up a Doctor Daniel Jackson from the airport."

* * *

"I wonder what his hair's like," the Colonel noted from behind the wheel.

"Hair's not the first thing I'm thinking about. I mean, I've never met an alternate version of myself. There's bound to be a lot that's different about him," Daniel had lightened up a bit at these unexpected news.

"There's no way we can guess before we see him. But you two can't be too different if they actually took this alternate one for you. Didn't they say anything?" Sam asked.

"Well, just that he was a hundred percent match to Doctor Jackson's ID, and that he'd been shot."

"What? Shot?" Daniel repeated.

"Yeah, but it's nothing really serious. A bullet just grazed his side. They stitched it together already--they wouldn't be sending him over to us if he wasn't fit to travel."

"So who shot me--um, him?"

"Wouldn't tell them. He'd specifically asked to see me. Said that he'd only explain it all to Jack O'Neill. Colonel Jack O'Neill."

So far, Sam hadn't heard of anything that'd point to any major differences. This alternate Daniel was a Doctor as well, and the O'Neill in his universe had been a Colonel. That wasn't a lot to go on.

She could remember how odd it had been to face an alternate version of herself. How they'd been both completely the same and totally different. Out of all the weird things she'd seen during her time in the Stargate program, it had been one of the strangest. She couldn't imagine how Daniel would feel about it now, when he already had so much on his mind.

The memory of the last time someone had come through the mirror also reminded her of the side effects. The entropic cascade failure. If they really had an alternate Daniel visiting their universe, then he'd be facing that in just a few days. She wondered if he knew about it. Hopefully he wouldn't stay that long.

* * *

For the first time in days, Daniel felt like he was fully awake. The idea of meeting himself was just so weird that it'd actually pulled him up from that gray haze that had surrounded him. Not that Jack, Sam and Teal'c hadn't been getting through, though. They had been wonderful. He didn't know where he'd be without them. He just hadn't been able to tell them, to show it to them.

And this was just way too strange.

Daniel looked at the man who was escorted to meet them, sitting in a wheelchair, and felt like he was looking into an old mirror. That was his face, his eyes--but Jack had been right about the hair. It was different, and then again, it wasn't. His own hair had looked just like that less than a year ago. Longer.

He had no idea of what to say, but his counterpart spoke up first.

"Jack! You're just like... you. Just the same. But..." he fell silent, taking in the entire team. The look on his face when he saw Teal'c and Sam was something Daniel couldn't interpret. Worried, or anxious, or nervous, maybe even a bit angry. It was just a flash that soon changed into open, raw grief.

His alternative self stood up from the wheelchair and put his hands on Teal'c's shoulders. "Teal'c... I'm so glad to see you... You have no idea... Though I never really knew you..."

Teal'c answered with a raised eyebrow and a nod.

He moved to face Sam. For a moment, he just stood there, his face contorted with emotion. Then he wrapped his hands around her and pulled her in a hug.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, Sam," he sobbed into her shoulder. Sam stiffened a bit, but then, she answered his hug, rubbing his back only a bit awkwardly.

No one dared to speak up. Not even Jack.

Daniel was starting to feel really freaked out here.

Alternate-Daniel finally released his grip of Sam, and turned to meet Daniel.

"I, uh..." Daniel started. Asking whether he'd had a thing with Sam was about the most tactless thing he could imagine.

"I... You can't imagine what it feels like, can you? You've been so lucky. So very lucky," his counterpart said in a quavering voice. "I didn't expect this... They're all alive--Teal'c and Sam, both still alive--and--is she still alive as well?"

Daniel looked right into this other Daniel's bright blue eyes, and they understood each other perfectly. He'd never had a thing with Sam.

Sha're. She was dead. They had both lost her. They hugged each other silently.

Daniel felt tears welling in his eyes, and tried to fight them back. Not here, not now. This was stupid. He let go of his alternate, feeling embarrassed.

"It never goes away, does it? The pain, the emptiness... Not even after three years," Alternate-Daniel uttered.

Daniel felt his mouth fall open. "Three years? But... It's hardly been a week!"


	2. Comparing Realities

They spent most of the way back in an extremely awkward silence. Jack tried to keep up the small talk, ask about the people in Area 51 and how they'd handled Daniel, and how they flight had been and so on. Anytime the conversation edged towards what had happened before Daniel had gotten here, he withdrew or changed the subject. 

They all thought it best to leave the real, difficult questions until they were back at the SGC, and Hammond was there to hear it all as well.

So, when they were back to base, there was no avoiding it. This other Daniel would have to explain things, as hard as it was.

"So, Daniel-" Jack began, and both two instantly turned to look at him. The same bright eyes, the same raised eyebrows--just the hair was clearly different, although in a familiar way. That longer hair made the other Daniel look younger, but on the other hand, he had lines on his face that the real Daniel didn't have. There was something old in the way he looked at things--a surrender, a deep sadness that Jack had only seen in the real Daniel's eyes last week, after Sha're's death.

Calling them "real" and "other" really wasn't very polite. So, he'd need to come up with something else.

"What do they call you, anyway, in your universe?"

"Daniel. You always call me that. Sam did, too. General Hammond calls me Doctor Jackson. And Teal'c, I think Teal'c always said Daniel Jackson, for the short while he was around..."

"But that's not going to work. I can't call you both Daniel. How about... Danny?"

"Jack, please..." that voice, that tone was so familiar that if Jack hadn't seen which one was speaking, he'd had no way to tell them apart.

"All right. Jackson?"

"Sounds odd, but I guess it'll make things a bit easier."

"So, son," General Hammond started. "I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to tell us what happened."

"Yeah... I know... Where do you want me to start?"

"At the beginning?" Jack suggested.

"I... I'd like to know how... How did you lose Sha're? Three years ago?" Daniel asked silently.

"It was the very first mission, soon after we lost Kawalsky... That happened here too, right?"

"Yeah, he's gone. Snake in the head and so on," Jack answered. If Jackson was anything like Daniel, he'd have felt just as bad about that, and he'd also know how bad Jack had felt about it. And he did leave it at that.

"So, we went through the gate--and straight into Apophis's arms. It was a planet where he had a small outpost, but we were unlucky enough to barge in just when he was there. Jack and Teal'c got away, Sam and I were captured... And she was there. Sha're. Of course, she wasn't there. It was Amaunet... She..." his voice faded into a heavy sigh.

"You know, just... Take your time, you don't have to tell this all to us, not right now, if you're..." Daniel said to his alternate. Looked like he was already starting to regret asking it.

"No, no, I'm fine, I'll have to do this sooner or later anyway, and it's been so long already... But it's still... She had me and Sam, and she wasn't the least bit interested about Sam, but she thought I was... amusing. And she..."

Jack really didn't like the sound of what he was trying to tell. He figured they'd all got the idea. Sounded like Amaunet had tortured him. How she'd done it was completely beside the point.

"It's all right, I think we've all got what you mean," Jack told him.

"Right, good, all right... So, you--I mean, Jack and Teal'c, returned with reinforcements. They came just at the right time, since Apophis had left and taken most of his guard with him, and they got in when she was... God, they were sure she'd kill me, but then Teal'c killed her."

"Oh," the real Daniel uttered, sounding shocked.

This was bad. Really bad. Why did it have to be Teal'c, in that universe too? As if things weren't difficult enough already.

* * *

"He told me that this was better for her. For Sha're. Better to die than to spend an eternity imprisoned in her own mind, watching herself do horrible things without anything she could do about it."

Yes, Teal'c had to admit that these were words he might well have chosen himself. It had been how he had thought at that time, years ago, when he had had no idea that much of the host could actually survive. Now, he had begun to believe that saving the host might be possible.

Teal'c could find no words of comfort to offer to either of the two Daniel Jacksons.

"I cannot apologize on his behalf, for I am not him. Still, I am sorry," he said.

"He apologized himself... And then..." Jackson paused hesitantly. "Then, only a month later, he died."

"What--how?" Daniel Jackson and Major Carter said simultaneously. It was what Teal'c thought as well.

"Teal'c died. On P3X-797. The Land of Light."

"We went there too, but... God, I'm so sorry. What happened?" Daniel asked.

"When everyone else was getting sick, we went back to the planet, and the Touched attacked us, and we fought back, but there were too many... And the next thing I remember, Jack and Sam came back with the cure and healed all the Touched, but Teal'c was already..."

Teal'c remembered the incident well. They had indeed returned to the planet, but when the Touched had assaulted them, Teal'c had been able to drive them away, shooting at them. They had captured Daniel, but Teal'c had escaped. No one had been seriously harmed. It was strange to hear that his other self had been unable to repel the attackers.

"So... What became of SG-1, then?" Colonel O'Neill asked.

"Louis took Teal'c's place. Major Ferretti. We got along all right."

* * *

There were definitely some major differences between this universe and the one this Jackson came from. Sam had been more than surprised at his reaction when he'd seen her and Teal'c, but it was beginning to make sense. To think that only a month after he had lost Sha're, he'd also lost Teal'c--and then, he hadn't told yet what had happened to her counterpart. She didn't want to ask that, but he must've guessed they all wanted to hear it.

"Sam... Sam died a year or so after that. Just when she'd survived being taken over by the Tok'ra Jolinar, she died in Hadante... Some of the other prisoners, they... God, it was so wrong! She died there, just moments before we got out, and we got out all because of her..."

Sam had been there as well, SG-1 had been there, imprisoned in Hadante. She had seen what the other prisoners were like. She could remember how they'd looked at her. She didn't want to think how her alternative had died.

"I'm... That's awful, Daniel," she uttered, reaching to take hold of Jackson's hand.

"And..." he started. It sounded like he was going to add another casualty to the long list. Sam was appalled to hear that.

"It happened just before I left... Janet... I never got to her funeral."

"Jeez--what happened to her?" Jack asked.

* * *

"That's... I'm... I wanted to tell this to Jack alone, because... I know he knows me, and he wouldn't... But the rest of you, I think you know me as well, so I can tell it to all of you. Janet... God, I found her, she was dying, someone had stabbed her... And they found us, and they thought I'd done it."

Daniel nearly fell off his chair. They blamed him for killing Janet? That was completely ridiculous. It made no sense.

"You've got to see... My universe isn't like yours. I've just been here for a short while, but I've seen trust, and friendship, and loyalty. Where I come from, it's not that simple. We've had too many conspiracies, and just... Too much grief, too many bad things happening..."

"And... That's why you're here? You're just... Running from them because they think you killed her?" Daniel said, thinking that it sounded hard to believe. On the other hand, the whole idea of a universe without Sam and Teal'c was difficult to believe.

"Yes... And not just that. They... Someone framed me, I'm sure of it. They accused me of several other murders as well, including people I'd never even heard of... But whatever was behind it, it was all the same, and they wouldn't believe me... I saw their evidence, and it was way too strong. They would've had me sentenced for life. So, I had no choice but to run."

"So that's who shot you? SGC guards? Your own people?" Jack asked, sounding astounded.

Jackson's hand went to his side, to that just recently stitched wound. "They did. You were the only one who would believe me, the only one who knew me well enough to know that I couldn't have done it all.. Jack helped me out. He got me out of my cell, and gave me a zat. I don't know what they've done to him if they've found out."

That was awful, but Daniel could believe it. They'd had their share of conspiracies already, that trouble with the NID, not to mention invisible aliens and Goa'ulds and so on. He didn't know where the NID conspiracy thing would lead. He was sure they'd face it again later, and it'd not be easy. But that someone had framed him as a serial killer--after he'd lost them all, Sha're, Teal'c, Sam, Janet. That was horrible. He didn't know how he--his other self--had been able to take it all.

He didn't know how he could take it all himself. Sha're was dead. Sha're was dead in that other universe as well. Teal'c had killed her in both universes. She was gone. Gone, forever. But he couldn't think about that now.

"So... How'd you get here? If you were on the run, how could you make your way to the mirror?" Sam asked.

"In my universe, it's in the SGC, not in Area 51. And it was the only way out I could think of. I think I killed a few guards on my way here... Zatted them twice... God, that really makes me a murderer, doesn't it? I never meant to do it... I didn't want to..." his counterpart shook his head, and buried his face in his hands.

"I really think this is enough for now," Daniel told them, his throat constricted.

"I agree, Doctor--Daniel," Hammond said, quickly switching from Jackson to Daniel to keep them from getting confused, but it was still confusing. "Doctor Fraiser said she'd like to keep an eye on him. If you would please escort him to the infirmary."

"Sure thing, sir," Jack answered for them all.

They stood up, Jackson looking like he could hardly stay on his feet. Jack and Teal'c offered their arms to him.

"I shot the guards and I really am a killer... They'll shoot me on sight," he uttered desperately. "I can't go back. I can never go home."


	3. Assault

Daniel was lying on a bed in one of the plain VIP rooms he'd known to expect, hands behind his head. Thinking. Trying to pull himself together. 

He couldn't stand their pity. He didn't want it. It only made him feel worse. But it was inevitable, and he knew that. Of course they'd pity him. And he pitied them for that.

Daniel--the other one, the one from this universe--was sitting on a chair at the other end of the room, staring into the distance. He was having a hard time with this. As much as Daniel hated making it worse, he had no choice.

"So... I guess you can guess I'll have to ask this sooner or later... About Sha're. I told you my story. What about yours?" he asked.

The other one turned to look at him as if he'd forgotten there was someone else in the room.

"Yeah... I guess I knew... Right. It's only been a week. She... We... There was this big attack against her forces... And I found her in a tent, and she used her hand device on me--and she sent me a message through it, telling me about--well, that wouldn't mean anything to you. And..."

"And... They had to kill her so she wouldn't kill you?"

"Yeah..." the other nodded slowly. "Yeah. He had no choice."

"He? Who? Who did it?"

"Teal'c... Teal'c had to kill her. But I'm not angry at him. He did the right thing. I know that."

"Do you really believe that? That there was no other choice?"

The other Daniel sighed. "I'm... It's..." he shook his head. "I think I do. I do believe it. She told me to forgive Teal'c. One of her last wishes. So I forgive him. It's what she wanted."

"Really? She said that?"

"Through the hand device. When she had me in her grip. I know it sounds crazy, but I know it was true."

"Her last words... Her last thoughts... I wish I could've heard those too. I never saw her again. Sha're. After the day I first lost her, I never saw her. Only Amaunet, and then she was gone."

They both fell silent for a while. Daniel had the eerie feeling that they were even breathing in the same time. They were the same. And still, not the same. He was sure their thoughts weren't going the same way.

"So... What do you think about him? Teal'c?" he asked. "What's he like? I... I never got to know him the way you do. They'd just allowed him to join the SGC when he..."

"That's an odd question, really. What do I think about Teal'c? He's one of the best friends I've ever had. Like Jack and Sam. I guess I think of them as my family."

"And... Jack and Sam? Anything between them?"

"Huh? Why do you ask that? Was there something between them in your universe?"

"Oh, no! No, there wasn't. But we did a bit of exploration through the mirror, and found out that there were quite a few universes where they did. Just had to check. I think your universe is one of the most similar ones I've seen. I've only met my counterpart in two other universes, but they were nothing like you and I. Completely different. And I think you're the luckiest of us all."

"But... There's got to be a universe out there where she's still alive."

"So I thought. But I've yet to find that one. If it really exists. Maybe some things are just bound to happen, sooner or later."

* * *

"So, Colonel. You're the one who's known Doctor Jackson longer than anyone else in this base. What do you make of this... visitor of ours?" General Hammond asked, when Jack had sat down in front of him, in his office. 

That was a tough one. Yes, Jack had known Daniel for a while. He thought he knew Daniel better than anyone else. In a way, that was a weakness, in this case.

"Sir... I think he's... Daniel. He's just so Daniel that it's freaking me out. I can imagine that's what he'd be like if all that bad stuff would've happened to him. Poor guy, really. He's been through a lot."

"You think we can trust him, then? He can't show us any proof of what he's told."

"Sir--he's Daniel, right? I trust him. Daniel doesn't lie unless he's got a damn good reason to do it, and even then, he's never good at it. True, he can't show us any proof, but--he's a fugitive, chased by his own people. Probably didn't have time to collect his scrapbook when he started running."

Hammond didn't look completely convinced. Which was good, in Jack's opinion. He needed to be sharp or he wouldn't be able to run this program. "And what would you propose we do with him, son?"

"I think we should do what we can to help him. The Doc said that gunshot wound is mending nicely. We need to get the mirror here and start looking for a universe with no Daniel, one where he can stay safely. He's got to go through before that nasty entropy thingy starts happening."

"I've already asked for the quantum mirror to be transferred here, but it's going to take a while. In the meantime, since you're so certain that he may be trusted, I won't be putting him under house arrest, but he'll have a guard nearby all the time."

Jack was about to exclaim and protest to that, but then again, maybe it was for the best. He knew he wasn't exactly able to think objectively here. Maybe they'd be stupid to trust this visitor blindly. But, for crying out loud, this was Daniel they were talking about.

* * *

The sound of the door opening called Teal'c out of his kel'no'reem. He was slightly annoyed, but it did not matter, he had time. He could continue later.

He looked up, and saw Daniel Jackson--the other one, the one who had long hair. Having a stranger interrupt his kel'no'reem would have made him irritated, but seeing that it was Jackson, he nodded and smiled.

"Teal'c. Hi," Jackson said a bit hesitantly, and sat down, cross-legged, in front of Teal'c.

"Greetings, Daniel Jackson."

"I just figured... I wanted to talk to you. Maybe get to know you a bit better, now that I'm going to spend at least a while in this universe. You know, this is the only universe where I've really had the chance to talk to you. In every other one I've seen, you've either still been Apophis's first prime, or dead."

"This is most disturbing to hear."

"So, you're good friends in this universe, right?"

"There is a strong bond of friendship between myself and Daniel Jackson."

"You'd do anything to protect him?"

"I would."

He would do anything. Even kill Daniel Jackson's wife, when he had no other choice. Teal'c had the feeling that that was what this Jackson had in mind as well, but he did not say it. Perhaps Teal'c was wrong.

Jackson crouched even closer to him.

"Would you protect me, too, Teal'c?"

"Of what do you speak? You are in no danger here."

"But I am!" he said urgently, and then, whispered right into his ear, "Teal'c, I think I'm being followed... I'm almost sure of it. Someone, or something, came through the mirror with me... I think they're in here... In this room... Teal'c, you've got to... Oh God, no!"

Teal'c didn't know what happened, exactly. He saw Jackson flinch, lurch in a strange way, a movement that he should've understood, but he didn't.

The next thing he knew, a blinding pain struck him. Something sharp pierced his pouch. His prim'ta curled in agony.

Teal'c swung his arms haphazardly, trying to hit whoever had attacked him, but it was no good.

He fought to stay in control, to stay conscious. He needed to protect Jackson. But he could not. His symbiote was so badly harmed that it wasn't even moving anymore.

He heard Jackson calling out, "Help! Someone, anyone, please, help!"

He was weak, he had not been able to fight, he had failed to protect Jackson.

Perhaps he deserved this.

There was only darkness.

* * *

"What? What's happened? Oh, no!" Sam put down the phone in her lab.

She left her computer open, her notes on the quantum mirror technology still on the screen, and sprinted towards the infirmary.

Teal'c had been hurt. Badly. And Jackson was hurt as well, again.

Both Daniel and Jack joined her on her way there, and they ran in together, only to find that Teal'c was nowhere to be seen, and Jackson was surrounded by medical staff.

A nurse approached them, informing them that "I'm sorry, they're operating on Teal'c right now--I'm sure they'll let you know when there are any news."

She wasn't surprised when Jack instantly stood up against that. "At least you can tell me what's up with him. No one's told us anything except that it's bad."

"I don't think anyone knows exactly. He has a stab wound to the abdomen, and it has seriously harmed his symbiote. They're doing everything they can."

Gods. Teal'c's symbiote had been stabbed. That was where he was most vulnerable. If they couldn't save the symbiote, then there'd be little they could do to help Teal'c, unless they could find a replacement very fast.

"What about... the other me?" Daniel asked.

"A cut to the side, very near to his previous gunshot wound. It's not life-threatening. He'll be all right. Perhaps he'll be able to tell what happened."

"I think I can tell something," a guard suggested. He had blood on his sleeves.

"You the one who found them?" Jack inquired.

"Yes, sir."

"So, speak!"

"I was stationed as Jackson's guard. He wanted to visit Teal'c, so I followed, and stayed just outside the door, as ordered. He'd hardly been inside for five minutes, when I heard sounds of struggle, and then, Jackson was calling out for help. I went in and found them, both lying on the floor, bleeding. So, I called in the medics, and that's it."

"No signs of anyone else in the room?" Sam frowned.

"None that I could see. I did find the weapon they'd been struck with, though, the knife was on the floor right next to them."

Sam nodded. This was really strange. What could possibly have happened? She couldn't help thinking back to what Jackson had told. That he'd found Janet who had been stabbed, and then they'd blamed him for doing it. This was just like that. If there really had been no one else in the room... But this time, Jackson was hurt as well.

"We've got to search the room, there's bound to be something there. And get fingerprints from the knife and so on," she told the others.

"I've already set a team on it, Major Carter," General Hammond called out from the door.

* * *

"That's the best you can do, Jackson?" Jack yelled, the look on his face surprisingly cold.

Jackson's story of what had happened was flawed at best, Daniel had to admit that. He'd apparently not seen much of what happened. All he could tell was that he'd talked with Teal'c, and then, something had struck them, but he hadn't seen who or what it was. As far as he could say, it'd been invisible.

"God, you're going to think I did it, too, aren't you?" he said miserably.

Jack looked like he might actually think that. Daniel couldn't believe it. He thought Jack knew him better than that. Thinking that his counterpart, who had lost Teal'c in his own universe, would try to attack him here, that made no sense at all.

"I know you didn't do it," Daniel said to Jackson. "Jack, you've got to believe that too. He can't have done it."

"They've followed me. Someone, or something, has followed me through the gate. They're doing it again. They'll turn you against me, and I'll have to flee again. Maybe I'd better just stop fighting it. Just end it all. Go and join them. Sha're, Teal'c, Sam..." he closed his eyes, gasping, and grabbed his side. Daniel knew it had two rows of stitches now.

He was watching himself talk suicidally. If he'd ever felt like someone just walked over his grave, this was it.

"Danny, just take it easy... I'm not going to jump into any conclusions here," the look on Jack's face had melted into worry and anxiety.

It was so weird to hear Jack using that nickname when speaking to someone else, who really wasn't him. He guessed he felt a bit jealous, childish as it was. But at least Jack had dropped the bad cop act for a while.

Janet had appeared at the bedside, and was casting those killing glances at them.

"I think we've all got enough to be upset about here without you adding to it," she told Jack.

Jack instantly jumped up and turned to look at her. "Teal'c?"

"He's out of the operating room, but not nearly out of danger yet. His symbiote was almost cut in half. It's a miracle we were able to save it at all. We can't expect him to wake up anytime soon."

"But he's going to be all right?" Daniel asked.

"If all goes well. We'll just have to wait and see."


	4. Broken Mirrors

He couldn't believe he'd failed. It shouldn't have been that difficult. Everything had went just as planned, but the damn Jaffa just refused to die. 

Either he was getting sloppy and careless, or then he'd just run out of luck.

Teal'c would probably survive. But that wasn't the end of the world, since Teal'c wasn't the first priority anyway. He'd always have time to deal with Teal'c later, when he'd gotten rid of his first target. If he'd manage that.

He'd have to plan everything carefully. Although time was of the essence here, he couldn't risk rushing it. Failure would probably lead to his death.

All things considered, it had actually been a stupid move to go at Teal'c now, but he had gotten emotional about it. That was, of course, the one problem he'd always had.

He had thought it would've been a nice gesture, a sort of an apology for what he would have to do. He still didn't like the idea of doing it, although he knew it was the only way. He had no choice.

* * *

"We're going to find out who did this, and when we get them, I'm going to..."

Jack fell silent. He was going to--what, kill them? Well, that wasn't really an option. But by God, he'd make them wish he had.

He gazed at the knife, back from the lab, sealed in a plastic bag, still stained with blood.

It was a bread knife, a goddamn bread knife from their very own mess. They'd checked with the mess staff, and yes, they had a knife missing, but they couldn't say for how long, exactly, no matter how important it was.

There were no fingerprints on it. None at all. Whoever had done it had been cautious enough not to leave any. So, one thing seemed certain: there had been some amount of planning behind the attack. Not that it was surprising. Attacking a person in the most secretive of all top secret military facilities in the country and escaping without trace--that certainly required some planning.

"Yeah, I'll be there with you to do that, whatever it might be," Daniel replied to him. "Really, I can't see how this could happen. It's like a bad detective mystery. A closed room with a guard at the door, no traces of struggle except for the knife and the blood on the floor... No suspects."

"Ah, but we have a suspect," Jack raised a finger. "There were two people in the room."

"Jack, we talked this over already. If you blame him for doing it--you could just as well blame me."

"Yeah, except that I've known you for years, and this guy just came in today. You trust people way too easily, Daniel."

"Yeah, and you don't trust them enough. He's me, Jack."

"He's not you. He's... Another you."

"So, let's just assume for a while that he didn't do it, and that he's right about someone following him. I think it's scarier than the alternative, really. It means that there's someone in here we don't know about. Someone we might not be able to see."

Jack considered that for a while. He'd already thought about it before, and Daniel was right, it was a nasty idea. One they certainly shouldn't rule out. He was going to talk about this with Hammond in a few minutes anyway, so he'd bring it up.

"Nothing I like more than a good ol' invisible alien assassin," he noted. "I think we'll just have to grab our TER's once again and do a full sweep of the base. Who knows what we'll find."

"Yeah... I'm going to see how Teal'c's doing."

"I've got a better idea. How about you stop by at the mess, get something to eat, and then go to sleep? When's the last time you ate and slept anyway? 'Cause, if you ask me, I'd say it was before... Well, you know, before she..."

The look on Daniel's face darkened instantly when Jack as much as hinted at Sha're. "Jack, I ate at your place just, what was it, some hours ago."

"No, you didn't. I saw it. You nibbled. It was pathetic. Eating happens when you grab a fork and use it to put food in your mouth."

Daniel sighed, shook his head and marched out of the room.

Jack sighed and shook his head too, as soon as Daniel had gone.

He couldn't decide which of the two he was more worried about.

* * *

Teal'c really didn't look so good. Janet had said that both Teal'c and the symbiote were in a coma, and she couldn't begin to guess when they'd come out of it. If ever. After years of having Teal'c around, they still didn't know a whole lot about the physiology of that larval Goa'uld.

Sam stopped by to visit Jackson on her way out of the infirmary.

"So, how're you doing?"

"Better than I should, I guess. I mean, someone's tried to kill me twice in less than a day, and all I've got is a few stitches. Well, a good few stitches, really. But it could be so much worse. I'm just waiting for Janet's leave to move back to that VIP room. It's not the Home of the Year, but at least it's nicer than being stuck here all the time."

Sam frowned. "Yeah... About doing better than you should, there's one thing I've been wondering..."

"Entropic cascade failure?"

He'd figured that one out really fast. This Jackson definitely wasn't any less sharp than the Daniel she knew. "You know about it?"

"I'd say I know quite a bit about it. We went through the quantum mirror a few times. Did some research. I suffered some ECF myself, more than once, so I do know what it feels like, and I've been expecting it to start all along."

"But, so far so good?"

"Yeah. The thing about ECF is, none of our science staff have been able to figure out how to predict it, when it strikes, how bad it is and so on. I mean, I think common sense would suggest that it's worse if the two universes are very similar to each other, but how can you prove that? How can you measure how similar two universes are?"

Sam couldn't think of any way to do that. It'd be impossible to compare everything that'd happened in both worlds. The smallest differences would surely be too tiny to notice, while the major ones could easily overwhelm everything else and distract the observer.

"Anyway, we've got the mirror here now. If you're all right with it, we'll try and find a universe without you... Without Daniel Jackson. So you could stay there safely."

"There's no 'safe' for me as long as the someone or something following me goes free, but that's a whole other problem... So, thank you, Sam--I'd really appreciate it."

They'd just have to start looking, trying to find a suitable alternate reality. It wouldn't be easy, she could tell that right away. They'd probably run into many dangerous realities, where the Goa'uld would've won and conquered the SGC and Earth, or something even worse. They'd be risking a lot for one man, but Sam was prepared to do it, for this Jackson--this Daniel, who had been through so much. They didn't have clearance to start yet, but she was sure Hammond would give it.

She made her way to the lab where the quantum mirror was waiting. It was off, of course. She picked up the remote to activate it, just to skim through universes and see what the other ends looked like. But nothing happened. The device stayed dead.

She walked closer to it and tried again, and even went so far as to touch it. Could it have somehow broken when they'd transported it here? That had never happened before, and it didn't sound plausible. But the fact was that it clearly wasn't working.

They didn't know a whole lot about how the mirror worked anyway. The Area 51 staff had only brushed the surface of the whole complexity of it. She was glad they'd managed to convince Hammond and the other people in charge to keep it instead of just destroying it. Now, she'd need all the knowledge they had.

Sam opened the panel at the side of the mirror, one that allowed access to some of its technology, and swore at what she saw. The technology was partially crystal-based, like that of the Goa'uld, only much more complex. It was all melted and broken, a real mess. It reminded her strongly of the effect a zat gun would have on something like this. Someone had sabotaged the quantum mirror.

* * *

Daniel sat by Teal'c's bed, staring at his still form, without actually seeing a thing.

Why did this have to be so hard?

He couldn't figure out what he felt. About Jackson. About Teal'c. About everything. And Sha're. Sha're, who was everything.

Jackson had asked if Daniel really believed that Teal'c had had no choice. Now that he thought about it, he didn't think he believed it. He believed Teal'c had had a choice, that things could've played out differently.

Daniel was still angry at Teal'c. And still, he did forgive Teal'c. He had to. He knew it was the right thing to do, and Teal'c was his friend. And now that Teal'c was hurt too, being angry at him and doubting his actions made Daniel feel like a really bad person.

That part of his mind that still paid some attention to the surroundings warned him that Janet was approaching. He picked up a Kleenex and did his best to wipe away any traces of tears. He didn't want her to see he'd been crying. She wouldn't be able to help anyway. No one would. He needed to sort this all out himself. Figure out what he really felt about things. And how to keep going when everything was wrong and Sha're was dead.

"Colonel O'Neill is right, Daniel. You should sleep. Teal'c's still going to be here in the morning, I can promise you that."

"Can you, really? What if someone attacks him again?"

That was another worry Daniel couldn't get rid of. That whoever had attacked Teal'c and Jackson would come back to finish it. They'd obviously known what they'd been doing, because they'd went for Teal'c's symbiote. He couldn't believe it had been just a random attack at whoever had happened to be there with Jackson.

"That's why we're going to keep the guards here around the clock. Nothing bad can happen. So, shoo, now! Doctor's orders."

Daniel stood up and nodded. He was tired, he wouldn't deny that, but he also knew he wouldn't be able to sleep.

When he left the infirmary, he noted that Jackson wasn't there anymore. Probably gone to the VIP room again. Somehow, Daniel knew he wasn't sleeping either.

On his way to his room, Daniel met Sam, who looked really upset about something.

"It's the quantum mirror," she told him. "It's broken--deliberately sabotaged, I think--and the Area 51 staff can't tell how long it's been like that. We've asked for their security camera data, but, again, it's going to take a while before we get it."

"Sam, wait," he frowned. "It's broken, as in, not working? So the other me can't leave?"

"Not in a while. I'm not sure I can fix it on my own, but Hammond's permitted us to contact the Tok'ra for help. We're going to make it work again soon enough."

They'd have to figure it out soon enough for Jackson to get out before being in this reality with Daniel would kill him. And how long they had before that'd happen, no one could tell. Hopefully at least a few days.


	5. ECF

Daniel got back to the VIP room just in time. 

The guards--there were two of them now, for added security--had just closed the door and left him alone when the first convulsions hit him.

If they'd get worried and move him back to the infirmary... He really hated being there. He'd spent more than enough time in the infirmary in his own reality. In this one, he'd actually been there more than anywhere else. Besides, being stuck there would jeopardize everything. He wouldn't have it.

He fell to the bed and bit his teeth together, trying to keep as quiet as he could, so the guards wouldn't notice anything was going on.

But it was so hard. It hurt so much.

There was no other feeling that came even close to the effects of entropic cascade failure. Experiencing pain because of some medical reason, regular or alien, that was one thing. Feeling one's very being torn apart because it violated the laws of temporal physics was far worse. There were no words sufficient for it.

He couldn't imagine how it'd feel to die like this. But he wouldn't need to find out. He'd survive. Whatever it took.

The fit didn't last long, although it felt like hours. His watch showed that hardly any time had passed. A minute, if even that. Not very bad to begin with. It'd get worse soon enough.

The most important thing was, no one had heard a thing. No one had burst in to see if he was all right, and to drag him away from this room.

He lay back on the bed and tried to think of nothing at all. Empty his mind of all the horrors that lurked in the corners.

Maybe he could sleep. Just a bit. A few hours. That was the most he could hope for. He hadn't slept properly in three years. Being in a nasty situation in a reality that wasn't his probably wouldn't help a lot.

* * *

Jack swept yet another corridor with the TER, and found nothing.

So far, no one had found anything. So, TER was short for Transphase Eradication Rod, which was about as awful a name as Jack had ever heard. And it was supposed to reveal pretty much all things invisible. They'd successfully used it to find and stop the Retou, a sort of invisible aliens, and it'd worked on Nirrti's invisibility device as well.

If there really was something invisible following Jackson, this should work. Except that the base was huge, and there were so many places where an invisible killer could hide. At least there was nothing hiding in this particular corridor.

"Level 15, corridor 6 clear," Jack radioed, and moved on to the next one.

Of course, it was perfectly possible that they had an invisible thing of a completely other type in here. Something like the Ashrak that the System lords had sent after Jolinar, or maybe even a frank and old-fashioned Goa'uld hiding in someone.

They were doing everything they could to rule out all possibilities. Jack figured they should be pretty good at this already, considering how many times the base had already been compromised.

They had mobilzied all the men they could spare to scan the base, using all the TERs they had. Doc Fraiser had her hands full of work as well, since now she had to organize a full-scale parasite hunt, checking all personnel as fast and as thoroughly as possible. That, of course, came second to her all-important task of keeping Teal'c alive.

Hammond had put the base in quarantine. Nothing came in, nothing went out. There were two exceptions to that, though: the security video tapes from Area 51, which wouldn't arrive until late next morning, and the Tok'ra, who should be coming in through the gate a bit sooner than that.

As much as Jack hated being too dependent on their off-world allies, this was one case where they really could use any help the Tok'ra could offer. They'd be able to recognize any Goa'ulds on sight, even faster than Teal'c, who couldn't do anything now anyway, let alone Carter, with her residual Jolinar stuff. And hopefully they'd know something about the quantum mirror technology, so they could fix it and send Jackson away, before things got too nasty for him.

Another empty corridor done. "Level 15, corridor 5 clear."

Jack figured he hadn't been entirely fair with Daniel. He'd just told Daniel to go to sleep, when he'd stayed wide awake himself, planning stuff with the General and then putting the plans in motion. But even Hammond had agreed that Daniel might not be of much help to them in his current state of mind.

Jackson could hardly have chosen a worse time to pop in. Jack just wished they'd get this over with really soon. One part of him said that they should just fix the mirror and get rid of Jackson, and hope that his problems, whatever they might be, would just go away with him. Maybe he'd get hurt or accused of murder in some other universe too, but that'd be someone else's problem. The rest of his mind protested strongly against that. They couldn't just send him away without doing their best to help him. They would never do it to Daniel, so how could they do it to his counterpart?

* * *

Someone knocked at the lab door.

Before Sam had the time to do a thing about it, the door opened, and a tired-looking Colonel O'Neill stepped in.

"So, I'm not the only one working at odd hours," he told her.

"Can't waste time sleeping," Sam replied.

They really couldn't. She was surprised that Jackson hadn't started going through ECF yet, but that didn't mean it wouldn't happen all too soon. Even when they'd get the mirror fixed--and she was sure they'd manage it--even then, it'd take time to skim through realities and find a suitable one.

"Any luck?"

"Not really. I'm just trying to understand this as well as possible, so we'll have something to work on when the Tok'ra get here. Can't expect them to do all the work just like that. I don't think they know this technology all that well, either, since the Goa'uld apparently haven't even heard of it... Anyway, what about you? Finished already?"

"Finally. Took a while. Lots of people cursing and complaining. But we got there, and we found nothing. Nada. Zip."

Sam looked at her watch. 4 AM. Wow. She could hardly believe it was that late already. She'd completely lost track of time, totally absorbed in the delicate work of prying apart the partially melted components, and trying to get the vaguest idea of what they were for.

"Nothing at all? That's good," she answered him absently.

"But is it? It would've given us the easiest explanation. Just find the invisible bad guy and get rid of them, and end of story. Now, we've got a whole lot of other possibilities to pick from. Maybe it's an invisible bad guy who's good at hiding. Or a parasite. Or Jackson himself."

"You really think it could be him?"

"I'm definitely not going to rule that one out, until we find the real bad guy. You know, the knife that the attacker used, that was from the mess. Jackson had been to the mess. He could've taken it."

"But there were no fingerprints... And they found nothing from Teal'c's room that could've been used to cover the hilt and prevent them. Not to mention that Jackson said he'd been framed before, and really skillfully. This would certainly support that. Besides, Jackson got hit too."

"Yeah. Maybe the evil parasite option's the most plausible one right now. But there's the slight problem that no one could've entered Teal'c's room without being noticed by the guards, the security cameras in the corridor, Jackson and Teal'c. So, an evil parasite who can go invisible at will?"

"It could just be an invisible thing that's not using transphasal technology at all, but something else entirely. We don't know what the Nox used, for example. And who knows, it might be able to walk through walls, like the Tollans. We might not have the means to find it, let alone eliminate it."

"Carter, make my night, and don't say that. If it'd be something so weird and alien, how come the guys at Jackson's end of the mirror had no idea at all of it?"

Sam rubbed her tired eyes. "We can't know for sure. We can ask the Tok'ra if they know anything about other invisibility devices. And I'm sure the Area 51 tapes will reveal something. At least we might find out what happened to the mirror. I think the two things are combined. Someone probably broke it because they didn't want Jackson to have that way out."

"And that's one of the few things that say 'it wasn't him'. Good for him. Because if he did it, he's..." Jack shook his head. "He's so going to regret ever entering our reality."

* * *

Sha're was standing right in front of him, smiling at him, as beautiful as ever, the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Daniel stepped closer, and smiled back at her.

Her eyes flashed. Glowed. Her smile changed, twisted, into a wicked grin. Her face remained beautiful, but the beauty behind it, that of her spirit, her soul, it faded away. She wasn't Sha're, she was Amaunet. A Goa'uld. She laughed at his soft, weak, human feelings.

Amaunet raised her hand, and caught him in the glowing beam of the hand device. He gasped in pain, felt his knees giving in.

And then, in a flash, it was over, and they were both on the ground.

The glow of her eyes went off once and for all as Amaunet died, and for a passing moment, he could see Sha're's spirit reflected in her eyes again, heard her last words, saying she loved him, for one last time. And then she was gone forever.

Teal'c was there, standing beside them. He had done it.

"I am sorry, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c told him.

Teal'c had done the right thing. Daniel knew that. Sha're had told him to forgive Teal'c. But how could he? How could he forgive, when she was gone forever, even though they could've saved her?

What did it matter if she might've killed Daniel first, if they could've saved her? Why should he live, when she was dead?

"Teal'c--why? It wasn't the only way," he whispered. "I can't forgive... It wasn't right."

Daniel bolted up in his bed, breathing fast.

That wasn't what he'd said. He'd said what he had wanted to say, what she had wanted him to say.

He didn't really think what he'd said in that dream, in that nightmare. He couldn't. Teal'c was hurt. Teal'c might die, too. Teal'c had done the right thing. He had to forgive Teal'c.

The doubt, the uncertainty, had remained in his mind. Jackson had brought it to the surface, made it awfully clear. He'd asked if Daniel really believed Teal'c had had no choice. And now, the thought wouldn't let him go.

He couldn't sleep. He'd slept a few hours already, and that was enough.

He got up and dressed, and headed to his office. He had plenty of unfinished work from a dozen different worlds waiting for him there. He could mercifully forget all this when he got into an interesting new translation.

He was waiting for the elevator, when the world suddenly stopped making sense.

All of a sudden, a pain unlike anything he'd ever known engulfed him. It felt like he was going to implode, fall apart, cell by cell, until nothing at all remained. He felt the convulsions gripping his body, fell to his knees, and then down to the floor, hitting his head to the wall.

It was gone as fast as it came, leaving him gasping on the floor, shocked.

He heard the elevator doors open, and then a slightly blurred, definitely worried Sam appeared in his field of vision.

"Daniel? You all right? What happened?"

"I--I guess so, now--I've no idea. I just, suddenly... Everything fell apart--it really hurt... Like nothing I've ever felt..." with all his linguistic competence, he could hardly put together one proper sentence.

The look on her face suggested that she had an idea, but she didn't like it at all.

"Come on, we'd better get you to the infirmary," she said, and half-dragged him to the elevator.

He was feeling a lot better already. He stayed up, leaning on the wall. He had the nagging feeling that he should know what was going on, but he didn't. He didn't think he'd been attacked. If someone had weapons that felt that bad at their use, they'd wouldn't go at Teal'c with a bread knife.

"Sam? You've got an idea, right?"

"Yeah, but it makes no sense. I don't know how it could be possible--I mean, theoretically, it's plausible that you'd feel it too, but not before him..." she mumbled.

Vague as that was, it was enough. He got it too, now.

"Entropic cascade failure," he said aloud. "I'm getting it too."

"Jackson said that ECF is nearly impossible to predict, and that though they've studied the mirror more than we, they haven't been able to come up with a working theory on it," Sam explained. "I guess his universe just really is very similar to ours. All too similar."


	6. Worries and Doubts

Author's Warning: This is getting more evil as it goes on... Be warned. Raised the rating because of violence. Oh, and, once again, I've got this feeling that this's been a bit slow... What do you think? Too slow? Please let me know.

* * *

Sha're was standing in front of him, smiling at him, as beautiful as ever, the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Though he was chained to the wall and unable to move, Daniel smiled back at her.

Her eyes flashed. Glowed. Her smile changed, twisted into a wicked grin. Her face remained beautiful, but the beauty behind it, that of her spirit, her soul, it faded away. She wasn't Sha're, she was Amaunet. A Goa'uld. She laughed at his soft, weak, human feelings.

"My sweet Daniel," she whispered poisonously, and ran a finger along his cheek, her sharp nail scraping his skin.

He tried to pull away, but he had nowhere to go. He tried to keep his weight on his feet, so his aching wrists wouldn't have to take it all.

"And what should it be today?" she asked, and seemingly out of nowhere, a small dagger emerged in her hand. She toyed with it for a while, and then slid it to his neck. He could feel his pulse racing against the cool blade.

"But no. It will not do, when I do not have a sarcophagus here at hand," she decided, and pulled it away.

Instead, she lifted her other hand. The one wearing that awfully familiar hand device. She caught him in the glowing beam once again. He felt his knees give in, and the pain in his wrists blazed again when he was left hanging from them.

Just when he thought he was going to pass out, it was all over in a flash. Amaunet went down, a dark stain spreading slowly on her chest.

He couldn't see her face properly, but he saw how the glow of her eyes went off once and for all. Amaunet died, and for a passing moment, he could see Sha're's spirit reflected in her eyes again. And then she was gone forever.

Behind her stood Teal'c, a staff weapon still held in his hands.

Tealc had shot her. He had killed Sha're. Daniel had had a hard time trying to learn to trust the Jaffa, and to forgive him for letting Apophis take Sha're in the first place. Now, Teal'c had again proved that he couldn't be trusted. Daniel would never trust him. He would never consider him a friend. He wasn't a friend, he was the enemy.

Daniel had the foreboding feeling that the seemingly endless torture and its unexpected, horrible end had pushed him over an edge. Where, exactly, and what it would mean, he couldn't tell, but it was frightening.

In a blink, they were no longer in Amaunet's stone-walled chamber. They were in the forest, on the dark side of P3X-797. They were surrounded, the Touched were everywhere around. Teal'c turned his back to Daniel and started firing.

This was it. Daniel knew it. He had been toying with the idea for almost a month, and now, the urge was too strong. He couldn't resist it. He might never get such an opportunity again. He'd have to act quickly. He made the decision in a fleeting moment.

He grabbed his standard issue knife and leaped towards Teal'c. He aimed for the lower back, hoping to get the symbiote on the first try.

Teal'c dropped his gun and fell to his knees. Daniel pulled the knife out and lunged again, higher up this time. First, eliminate the symbiote, and then stab him in the heart. Should kill for certain.

The Touched were too near now, about to grab them both, and Daniel went on with his plan. He wrenched the knife out again, and took hold of the blade, offering the hilt to one of the primitives. Let them take it. Let them do whatever with it. And let them put their fingerprints all over it, so no one could ever suspect Daniel.

When they grabbed him and started dragging him away to who knew where, he didn't resist. He didn't want to die, but he wasn't sure if he wanted them to let him live, either.

He saw a few of them move in and nudge Teal'c. Teal'c stayed very still.

God, he had killed Teal'c. But that was what he had wanted to do all along. He had seen it coming since the moment he'd looked at Teal'c, standing there at the doorway with that staff weapon, with Sha're lying dead on the ground.

Daniel bolted up in his bed, panting.

The doubt, the nagging voice of his conscience, it just wouldn't leave him alone. It told him that he shouldn't have done it. But what was done, was done, and he just had to live with it.

Besides, he wouldn't need to go on. He could end it here, in this universe. He would do that. He only needed to take one more life, and then he would never do it again. He would do that today, and then everything would be all right again.

* * *

Daniel was already closing his jacket and getting off the table when Jack reached the infirmary.

"Physically, there's nothing wrong with him, except that he's clearly upset," Janet was telling Sam.

"Nothing wrong except that this thing's going to happen again, and get worse, as long as there's two of me in this universe," Daniel remarked sourly.

"I wonder if Jackson's being entirely honest with us. I mean, it seems highly unlikely that it'd hit Daniel first. Maybe he just doesn't want us to know," Sam said.

"I wouldn't put that past him," Daniel replied. "I might... He might do that. Just to keep everyone else from worrying too much."

Jack grimaced at that. Sure, it did sound like stubborn, Daniel-like behavior. Don't upset the others. Don't add to their troubles. Just suffer silently, all on your own. Wasn't that what Daniel had been trying to do all along, when he'd completely refused to talk about his feelings and thoughts over Sha're's death?

"Or maybe he just hates my infirmary," Janet suggested. "I wouldn't put that past either of you two."

"If I've ever said anything to offend you, Janet..."

"No, no, I understand it perfectly well. No need to apologize. So, I think I'm going to need to make a house call on Jackson, if he's so reluctant to come here."

"You won't find anything," Sam was being the pessimist-realist once again. That was one side of her that Jack could do without. "The ECF seizures don't leave any permanent marks, do they?"

"Aside from overwhelming systemic stress when it gets worse, not really," Janet shrugged. "But the least I can do is check that he hasn't accidentally torn any of those stitches open."

"Take a few guards with you, will ya," Jack told her.

He couldn't get past the idea that Jackson might have some other reasons for not telling them whether he was suffering of ECF or not. He'd not have another person attacked, if he could do anything to prevent it.

As she left the room, the three relatively unharmed members of SG-1 walked over to visit the fourth, again. Teal'c still showed no signs of coming to.

"Janet actually said it looks like the symbiote's about to wake up," Sam noted. "And when it does, that means Teal'c's going to heal a lot faster, and then he'll come around soon, too."

"And I really hope he can tell us something about what happened," Jack added, and placed a hand on the unconscious Jaffa's head. "Come on, T. We could use your help here."

Jack heard Daniel breathe in sharply, and looked at him, concerned. But apparently it wasn't another bout of ECF, just a wave of complex emotions. Daniel was blinking fast, like trying to fight away tears, and his mouth was a thin line.

"I'll be in my lab... Let me know when there's any news," Daniel said tonelessly, and walked away.

Jack was about to follow him and give him a few pieces of advice, when the gate activation alert sounded.

"It's got to be the Tok'ra," Sam said. "And not a minute too early."

* * *

Sam had been hoping she'd meet her dad again, but he wasn't among the three Tok'ra who came through the gate. Instead, Martouf was there, and two others she didn't recognize right away, a middle-aged woman and a young man.

"Samantha. Colonel O'Neill. Good to see you both. I'm afraid Selmak and Jacob are away on a very important mission, so we could not contact them. However, the two I've brought with me are among the most experienced of the Tok'ra when it comes to matters of technology. They are called Thea-" he pointed at the woman, who nodded "-and Nahet," he gestured at the young man.

"Pleased to meet you," she greeted them. "Can we start right away? We're in a bit of a hurry here. The presence of two Daniels in our reality is causing a temporal disturbance that hurts them both."

"So soon already? That is interesting," Thea commented right away. "How does it manifest, exactly?"

"I'll explain it all in a while. Please, let's get going," Sam hurried them, and started leading the way towards the lab with the mirror.

She saw the Colonel raise his eyebrows and nod. Just go on, hurry up, and don't spare them one bit, he was telling her.

She certainly made them work as hard as they could, and did the same herself. The unhappy truth was, they were just as much at a loss with the mirror's technology as she was. They had to start from what Sam and the Area 51 scientists had managed to gather, and try to work their way up from there.

The Tok'ra did bring one all-important advantage. Though they didn't really understand how the mirror worked, many of its components were familiar to them. They had even brought some spare parts with them, based on the knowledge Sam had given them in advance, when she'd first contacted them for help.

They would get this thing fixed, but it might take a full day.

* * *

"Daniel?" Jack called from the doorway.

"Yeah... If it's not good, I don't want to hear it," Daniel snapped at him. He didn't even bother to look up from his translation.

He was working fast, but he didn't think the quality was up to his usual standard. In a very concrete way. His scribbles were hardly legible. Worse than a corrupted papyrus in Hieratic Egyptian. And the text he was producing... Although it did correspond to the original, it certainly wasn't English.

"It's good all right. You must've heard the Tok'ra came through? They're going to fix the mirror in no time."

"That's good," Daniel nodded. "Anyone tell that to Jackson yet?"

"I'll stop by to let him know."

"So, he didn't kill Janet when she went to check him, after all?" Daniel asked in a slightly accusing tone. He hadn't liked what Jack had implied, insisting her to take backup when she went to see to Jackson.

"He didn't. I think it was almost the other way around. The Doc wasn't too happy when she found him bleeding again. He'd broken all her careful handwork of sewing him together. I can guess she wasn't too gentle when she redid it," Jack actually sounded like he felt for Jackson.

Maybe Jack was finally getting over all those stupid suspicions. Daniel couldn't understand why Jack would insist on not trusting Jackson. Actually, Daniel felt offended about that. It felt like Jack didn't trust him. Because Jackson was him. Daniel felt closer, more similar to him now than ever, since they were both suffering from ECF.

"Anything I can do for you? Get you a cup of coffee?" Jack offered.

"No, I think I've still got some that's just... a few hours old, and still lukewarm..." he turned his attention to the text again, away from Jack, away from Jackson, away from Teal'c and all the thoughts and emotions he didn't want to face.

"Just the way you love it. Right. I get the clue. I'll leave you alone. Just... Daniel, please, please let us know if anything's wrong. The Doc's so going to get you if you don't show up at the infirmary for a check up every time you've been through one of those... entropic seizure thingys."

"Sure, Jack," Daniel mumbled.

He really wasn't sure if he would, though. He knew what to expect now, and he knew he'd recover pretty fast, if the first two times gave any clue. He hadn't let anyone know of the second one, yet, the convulsions that had struck him after he'd spent an hour or so alone in his lab. If Jackson had gotten away with it, Daniel could do that as well. Let them worry about Jackson, the mirror and Teal'c's attacker first. Daniel's problem would be solved as well when they'd take care of those.


	7. Advance

"So, we're getting a little help from the Tok'ra, and Carter's convinced that they'll have the mirror in working order in less than a day," Jack told him from the doorway.

"Really? That's great. Finally some good news."

Daniel did his best to look as relieved and happy about that as was to be expected. He'd learned a lot, during these last few years. He'd been a lousy liar before, but now, he could easily fool these overly trusting people.

Jack was probably the most difficult case of them all. Daniel could see that the Jack and Daniel of this reality were just as close to each other as he had been to his Jack, so he had every reason to expect that Jack knew him really well. Jack had been going to and fro from open concern and friendliness to hostility and doubt. He might prove to be a problem later on. But probably not. If Daniel played this right, Jack wouldn't have the slightest doubt.

"Anyway, you doing all right?" Jack asked.

"Yeah. Pretty good, considering the circumstances... How's the search, anyway? Any trace of who or what's after me?" he had to check, to be sure.

Jack shook his head. "Sorry, but no. We've swept the entire base for any signs of invisible things, and found nothing. The Doc's gone over more than half of the staff and she's found nothing unusual, either. And even the Tok'ra didn't have any bright ideas. But I heard the Area 51 security tapes are finally here. I'm on my way to check them out."

This time, Daniel couldn't help letting a bit of his real feelings escape and show on his face. The security tapes... He wasn't exactly sure how clear they would be, but this was bad. Jack didn't notice anything off, though, since showing concern and worry over what he'd said made perfect sense.

"We'll catch this thing, Jackson. Don't you worry," Jack reassured him.

"I really hope so."

And they would. Daniel would take care of that. They certainly would.

"In the mean time... Just hang on. Anything you need, just ask. Well, within certain limits. Anything reasonable. Anyway. I'll pop in again when I've got more good news."

"Thanks."

As soon as the door had closed behind Jack, Daniel got up. He'd have to advance right now. If they'd figure out something from that tape and put him in the brig, all would be lost.

He went to the desk, and opened the first drawer. A notebook. Pens. Paper clips. He opened the next one. More desk accessories--and among them, scissors.

These people really were every bit as stupid as he thought. So quick to trust, so careless.

Daniel picked up the scissors and walked to the bathroom. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror. That long hair he'd never wanted to change. It was the way Sha're had first seen it. The way she had loved it. Now, it would have to go.

He worked slowly, taking his time, doing his best to reach a close resemblance to the style of this reality's Daniel. Luckily the color was about the same.

Though he was no barber, he thought it came out near perfect. He couldn't tell a difference between his image in the mirror, and his memory of that other him.

He left what remained of his old hair in the sink and on the floor.

Now, there was the unpleasant matter of dealing with the guards. He wasn't particularly looking forward to it. They were just guards. Innocent people just doing their jobs. So much for taking only one more life. It might have to be three. But those would be the last, he promised himself.

Daniel knocked on the door, and called, "I could use some help--if one of you could spare a moment-"

Jack had told him to ask for anything reasonable. Asking a guard to help him with something was definitely reasonable.

Daniel stood at the side of the door, where the one coming in wouldn't spot him instantly.

The door opened, and a guard entered. Before he had time to say a thing, before he could react, Daniel struck him in the neck with the scissors. The guard went down loudly, his cry for help coming out as a gurgling yelp. As fast as he could, Daniel knelt and grabbed the guard's knife. A gun would be better, quicker and more merciful, but it would be too loud inside these walls.

Just as Daniel had expected, the door opened again, and the second guard stepped in. He wasn't completely stupid--instead of kneeling to check out the first guard, he turned around to scan the room. But Daniel was faster. The second guard fell on top of his comrade, the first guard's knife deep in his chest.

As much as he hated to admit it, Daniel was getting awfully good at this.

The two guards were still twitching, still gasping, not quite dead. Daniel didn't mind that. Let them take their time. Let them make a mess. That wouldn't disturb his plan at all.

He went to the closet and got out a clean set of SGC overalls. He'd get more suitable clothing easily. The most important thing was not to have any suspicious bloodstains on him.

He wasn't sure if the second guard had been smart enough to call for help before he'd come in. Anyway, he certainly didn't have time to spare. He ran out of the room.

A few corridors away, he could slow down. He wasn't in a hurry anymore.

He was Daniel Jackson, and everyone in the SGC knew him.

* * *

"Carter? Aren't you supposed to be working on the mirror?" Jack was surprised to find her waiting for him in the room with the security camera tapes.

"Well, I figured I could take a short break. Thea and Nahet are trying to reconstruct some of their spare components so they'll match the broken mirror parts, and that's going to take a while. I can't do anything before they're finished."

"Did you look at the tape already?"

"No, I just got here."

"Let's see it, then."

The tape showed a plain storage room in Area 51, no furniture, just lots of alien stuff. The inactive quantum mirror stood near to one wall. Suddenly, it flashed, its surface became mirror-like, and Jackson emerged through it, one hand on the mirror, the other clutching his side.

It wasn't the clearest of images, it was a bit blurred at best. So, when there was another flash that engulfed the mirror, and then the mirror went off, Jack wasn't quite sure where it had come from. Still, he didn't think it came from the mirror itself.

"Carter--can we replay that in slow motion?"

She was already on it, rewinding the tape just a bit and then showing it frame by frame.

Jack focused his attention on Jackson's hands. He thought he saw something. Just the slightest movement of that hand cradling the gunshot wound on his side. The hand was holding something. It might be the remote for the mirror. It could also be a zat. Jack could swear it was the source of that flash that hit the mirror.

"Carter, are you seeing what I think I'm seeing?"

"Holy Hannah... Sir--it looks like he zatted it himself. But why would he do that? He had to know the mirror would be his only way out if he'd meet himself and face ECF!"

Jack frowned. Yeah, it made no sense. But he had a bad feeling about it. It clearly said that Jackson hadn't told them the whole story, and he had things to hide.

"Jackson's got a few really tough ones to answer..." Jack began, when the telephone rang. Right at the worst possible moment.

"O'Neill. This has better be really important," he answered it irritably. But it was.

"Can't think of many things more important than this, Colonel," the reply came in Doctor Fraiser's voice. "Teal'c just woke up, and he insists you come see him right now."

Jackson would have to wait a few more minutes. He was in the VIP room, and well guarded. He'd not be going anywhere.

* * *

Teal'c couldn't tell how long the darkness had lasted.

When he found his way to the light again and woke up in the infirmary, it took him a while to gather an understanding of what had happened, and why he was here.

He remembered how Jackson had entered his room, asked several questions, most of which he had found strange. A moment later, Jackson had become distressed and spoken of a possible intruder. And then, something had happened, someone had assaulted Teal'c, wounded his prim'ta too fast and too seriously for him to react at all.

That span of a few seconds when the attack had taken place kept playing over in his mind. He had not seen what had happened. Either Jackson had done something, or someone had done something to Jackson. The way he had lurched backwards and then forth reminded Teal'c strongly of something.

Doctor Fraiser had just stopped by his side, when he understood it.

Jackson had moved like someone thrusting with a sword--falling back for momentum, and then lunging forward. Jackson had struck him. There had been no one else in the room. Jackson's words had been treacherous, and meant to mislead Teal'c. Either Jackson had been possessed, or then he was truly nothing like the true Daniel Jackson.

Teal'c still did not know how long he had remained unconscious. Others might have been hurt already, if they had not caught Jackson yet.

He opened his eyes and stated loudly, "I must see Colonel O'Neill right now!"

He saw Doctor Fraiser start and back away. She had thought he was asleep.

"Teal'c! You're awake--how are you feeling?"

"It is irrelevant. You must inform O'Neill that I have important news."

The look on her face was defiant, but she nodded, and walked away.

Teal'c did not need to wait long. Soon, both Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter appeared at his bedside.

"Teal'c! Great to have you around again!" O'Neill greeted cheerfully. "Though, the Doc underlined it very strongly that we mustn't stress you too much. So, stay cool."

"Colonel O'Neill. I cannot cool down before I hear what has come of Jackson."

"See, the mirror was broken, so we haven't been able to send Jackson out. He's in his room right now, I suppose. I'm going to talk to him soon. He's so in trouble. We checked the security camera feed from Area 51, and it showed he's the one who broke the mirror."

"He is also the one responsible for my current condition."

"Whoa, T! You remember what happened? He attacked you?"

"I do remember, and it is quite clear," he assured them. "Have there been any other attacks? Any other injuries? Daniel Jackson is not here, but is he nevertheless fine?"

"There've been no new attacks, but about Daniel, well, that's relative... He was drowning himself in work in his lab when I last saw him."

"Shouldn't we call him and tell him Teal'c's awake?" Major Carter suggested.

"I'll do that," Doctor Fraiser replied instantly.

"I'm going to tell the guards to get that son-of-a-bitch Jackson and drag his sorry ass to a cell so I can get him..." Colonel O'Neill spoke.

They both stepped away, so Teal'c could not hear their voices anymore, only that of Major Carter, who was still standing by his side.

"God, Teal'c, you have no idea how good it feels to hear your voice again... And this soon, too! When they first brought you in, Janet couldn't promise us anything... I can't believe that Daniel--that Jackson could've done this to you..."

"I believe I was also mistaken about the alternate Daniel Jackson," he told her in a low voice.

Then, he heard Colonel O'Neill complain loudly, though he couldn't see O'Neill. "I can't believe this... Either they're too deep in a game of cards or asleep on duty, or then..."

"Daniel's not answering either," Doctor Fraiser's tone was softer, more worried than angry.

"I really don't like the look of this... Carter--you go check on Jackson. I'm going to see if Daniel's all right. Maybe he's just not in his lab anymore. Doc, if you could call Hammond and explain him what Teal'c's just told us."

They all went away, and left Teal'c alone. He felt useless again. He wanted to help them, but he could not. He knew he was still far too weak even to sit up, let alone engage in any physical activity.

He closed his eyes and began to meditate. He could not reach true kel'no'reem lying on this bed in this room, but he could still strive for greater harmony with his symbiote and help his body heal faster, as he waited for news.

* * *

Author's Announcement: I've actually written two chapters in one day! Whoo! This has to be some kind of a record! Also, I've got the next one figured out already, though I'm not sure I'll get it done this fast. And I'm telling you, if you think this one's a cliffhanger, just wait for the next... It'll be even worse. I'm evil. I know it. How else could I write stuff like this. :-p 


	8. The True Story

The other Daniel had not been in his room, so Daniel had let himself in, and changed into blue SG-1 BDUs. 

Now, there was only one thing left that was different about them. Those annoying stitches. They would be a problem at one point or the other, but he hoped he'd have time to worry about them later. Maybe he could sell a few priceless artifacts and pay whatever it took to a plastic surgeon, to get rid of the scars. Or then, he could always arrange an accident of some kind. An injury. A staff blast to the side would effectively hide any trace of the two cuts, but he didn't know if he'd have the guts to do that.

It had been bad enough to slash himself with the bread knife, to make it look like someone had attacked both him and Teal'c. Of course, it had also been important because it had offered him a very easy way to get rid of those surgical gloves he'd stolen and used to keep the knife hilt clean of fingerprints. He's just dropped them on the floor in the infirmary, and some nurse had probably put them into the trash can without a second thought.

Yet another ECF seizure forced him to stay in Daniel's room for a while. It was the worst so far, and left him feeling entirely spent. But he had to hurry, or they'd catch him too soon.

Now, where would he be, if he wasn't in his room? Where would the other Daniel be?

He might be in the infirmary, watching over Teal'c. Or anywhere in the base, talking to Jack or Sam. That wouldn't do. On the other hand, he might just be in his lab. It was the perfect place to be when he wanted to get his mind off other things. Just bury himself in work. If he wasn't there now, he'd probably show up there sooner or later.

Daniel left his room, and started walking the familiarroute through the corridors.

* * *

Sam saw from afar that there were no guards at Jackson's door. She ran the last stretch, and grabbed the handle, but the door was locked. She knocked, and got no answer.

She turned and ran away, to get the key. Whatever had happened, it couldn't be good. Though she tried to be as fast as she could, she felt like she was moving in slow motion.

She got the door open, barged in, and nearly tripped over the two bodies lying near the doorway. The guards were dead, lying on top of each other, blood all over them. She couldn't see Jackson anywhere.

Out of the two guards, the one on top had a knife in his chest. The one under him--Sam had seen death before, far too much of it, but she felt the bile rising in her throat at the sight. The guard had a pair of scissors protruding from his neck.

If Jackson had done this--and he had. There had been no one else here. Just him. If he was able to do something as horrid as this, Jackson was nothing like Daniel. The way he looked, his manners, his voice, they were just the same, but he must've been lying to them all along about his feelings. Maybe the accusations against him had really been justified. Maybe he really had murdered all those people--and still, maybe he hadn't. He might've just been absolutely desperate to get out of this room, for some reason she didn't know. Or maybe he had a Goa'uld in him. She refused to believe that he was simply evil. He was Daniel, after all.

Sam left the guards to search the room for any sign of what Jackson might be up to. The uniform Jackson had been wearing was on the floor, and it had blood all over it. She couldn't know if it was all from the guards, or if some was actually Jackson's.

The bathroom door was open. She checked it as well, and found hair littering the floor and the sink. It took her a while to realize what it had to mean. Jackson had cut his hair. He'd removed the one thing that instantly told him and Daniel apart.

Jackson looked exactly like Daniel now. He'd have free access to nearly anywhere in the base. Sam couldn't guess what he'd do with it. She didn't think he'd be stupid enough to go to the infirmary and try to attack Teal'c again.

She ran to the phone, to call Hammond. They'd have to search the base for anyone looking like Daniel, and put them in the brig. If they'd catch the real Daniel as well, he'd understand. They'd have to get Jackson before more people got killed.

* * *

Daniel didn't even look up when he heard the door opening again.

"Jack?" he called out.

"Sorry, but no," the answer came in a voice just like his.

He heard the door close with a click. Locked. He looked up, and saw Jackson standing at the door. Daniel couldn't guess why he'd come to visit him now, let alone why he'd chosen to lock the door.

"Jackson. What's up?"

There was something really odd about the look on Jackson's face. Daniel had seen that look before, back at the airport, when he'd first met Jackson. That look he couldn't interpret. Sad and angry in the same time.

Jackson raised his hand. He was holding a pistol.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Daniel. We... This is going to end here and now."

Daniel stared at him in disbelief. He noticed another strange thing about Jackson. His hair was short. The same as Daniel's. And he was pointing a gun at Daniel. Why would he do that? How could he...

"Look, I really don't want to do this. It was different with the others. They were, well, they were other people. They didn't understand me. You do. We're the same. But that's also why it won't be so bad. When you're gone, I'll remain, and as long as I live, you live as well. Daniel Jackson will live on."

Daniel felt like the floor was falling from under his feet. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't be hearing what he thought he heard. It couldn't mean what it had to mean.

"You... You're... You attacked Teal'c?" he managed to stutter.

"I wanted to give that to you before I had to... I knew you'd never have what it takes to do it yourself, though I'm sure you wanted to. You know Teal'c's not your friend. He killed Sha're. He deserves to die."

That wasn't true. Teal'c was his friend. Teal'c... Although Daniel's feelings were horribly jumbled, although he was angry at Teal'c, he knew he shouldn't be. Teal'c was still a friend. One of the most important people in his life. But if Jackson thought that way, it would mean...

"God--you killed Teal'c in your universe? And the others--Sam? Janet?" Daniel stood up behind his desk.

Jackson waved the pistol irritably. "Well," he sighed. "I guess I'll just have to be the evil maniac you think I am and explain it all before I put my plans in action. Teal'c--it wasn't what you think. I'm not a murderer, Daniel. We're not as different as you think. After Sha're died, I... Nothing ever was the same. I thought that... if I got my revenge... If I got rid of Teal'c... I thought it would change things. It would make the pain go away. I thought about it for a month, and then, all of a sudden, I got the chance to do it, and I couldn't help myself... And then he was dead."

No, Daniel didn't want it to be that way. He didn't want to hear this. Didn't want it to sound so understandable, so... Could he really have ended up that way? Could he have become like Jackson? Could he still become like that?

"But... the others? If Teal'c was..."

"The others... There was this woman. I only heard her name later, when they had somehow put together the evidence--Joan Trent. I met her at O'Malleys. She looked like her. Like Sha're. But the things she said... Said that she wondered if a geek like me had ever seen a girl before... And other things. I guess she was trying to pick me up, in an irritable way, but she offended her! I couldn't... I couldn't stop myself. I never meant to kill her. Just... Show her. Tell her to shut up. And Makepeace... He was NID anyway... And..."

Jackson looked every bit as upset as Daniel felt. Jackson was lost in the memories. In that horrible past Daniel still couldn't believe, let alone accept. Daniel hated taking advantage of it, but it might offer him the way out of this situation. Slowly, he took a few steps, edging closer to Jackson.

"Sam. Did you kill her as well? And why? What did she ever do to you?"

"I never touched her!" Jackson shouted. "I didn't, I swear I didn't... But she was... She was getting everything that belonged to me. Taking over the credit for things we'd done together. And she was going to take Jack from me. I'd seen them together in alternate realities. And there were these... hints, these small things, in my universe, and I was afraid... I couldn't let that happen. Jack wasn't for her! I had to do something. It was a neat arrangement... In Hadante... I made a deal with some of the other prisoners. I told them how to get out, how to activate the gate, the way Sam and Linea had figured it out, and gave them a working gate address. And in return, they took care of her for me."

That made it clear. Jackson was mad. Twisted beyond what Daniel could imagine. He'd--he'd killed Sam, because he thought Sam was getting between him and Jack? That was the most absurd thing Daniel had ever heard.

The tiniest trace of doubt still remained in Daniel's mind. He really didn't know what to think of Jack and Sam being together. It was a weird idea. It felt wrong to him. Could he... No, he couldn't believe he could ever have... But this other Daniel was still him, wasn't he? They had probably done all the same things, been exactly the same all along, until Sha're had died in that other reality...

Jackson had nearly dropped the pistol already. His hand was shaking. Daniel was almost there, now, just a few steps, and something to distract Jackson, and he'd get it.

"Janet, then. You really did stab her, didn't you?"

"She wasn't my friend either, she... She sent me to that mental ward, she wouldn't believe me, when I'd got Machello's Goa'uld-killer in me that made me look like I was mad... She had been faking friendship for so long! I just regret I didn't get that MacKenzie as well!"

Daniel was about to go for the gun, when the phone rang. Jackson jerked out of it, straightened up, and the pistol steadied in his hand again. It was awfully near now that Daniel had moved closer to him, and he kept it trained on Daniel's heart.

"Don't answer it!"

Daniel raised his hands, and didn't move. "So, this is it? You'll kill me, and go on with the massacre in my reality?"

"No! No, no, no! I'm not going to kill anyone ever again. Well, maybe a few Goa'ulds, but they don't count, do they? No, I'm going to become you. I'll be good again. I'm not bad, Daniel, you know me--you are me--I'm not evil! I can change, I can go back to what I was before... I... No!"

Daniel felt it as well, just in time with Jackson's exclamation. The ECF. It struck them both at the same time, and they were both convulsing, flickering, quivering, and now that they were both here, the disturbance was between them as well, the air between them looked thick, twisted, like smoke in a distorted mirror, and it felt like they were being pulled together and pushed apart at the same time...

But if he could fight it, just a bit, this could be his one chance...

Daniel fought to control his hands, and reached towards Jackson, towards the gun, he felt his hands close around it, but Jackson's hands were there as well, and he didn't know where it was pointed. Caught in the seizure, they fought over it...

The bang of the pistol going off was deafening at such close range.


	9. Choice

Jack had just gotten out of the elevator and started running towards Daniel's lab, when he heard the unmistakable sound of a gunshot. Though everything in him screamed that he should run as fast as he ever could, he slowed down, and went to the first phone he could find.

"O'Neill here. I need a med team standing by outside Daniel's lab--right now! Don't come in till I say it's safe."

He hung up without waiting for an answer, and ran. As fast as his inevitably aging knees allowed. Which was pretty fast. He wasn't that old, after all.

The door was locked. Luckily, Jack always kept the key with him. Just in case. Holding his breath, his heart in his mouth, he opened the door and stepped in.

Daniel stood a few paces away, facing the door, a Beretta grasped in a trembling hand.

Jack could start breathing again. This had to be Daniel. He had short hair. And if Daniel was standing in front of him, the other man lying on the floor behind him had to be Jackson. Jack couldn't see him properly, with Daniel blocking his view.

"Jack?" Daniel whispered breathlessly, the pistol wavering up and down alarmingly. "Jack--I killed--Oh God, I killed--me--him--I killed him..."

"Shhh, Daniel, it's all right, it's over," Jack reassured him. "Just put the gun down."

Daniel nodded, and crouched very slowly, placing the Beretta on the floor.

"Good, well done, Danny--are you all right? Are you hurt?"

Daniel shook his head. "Jack, he killed them--he killed them all, Teal'c, Sam, Janet--and he was going to kill me too--And I killed him--am I really any better than he was?"

"Daniel, you had no choice," Jack told him firmly, though he had no idea of what exactly had happened.

Jack approached him slowly, as if he was some frightened wild animal. Like a deer, those expressive eyes wide with fear and shock.

Jack wrapped his hands tightly around Daniel, who just stood there, rigid.

Looking over Daniel's shoulder, Jack saw the man lying on the ground. He was also Daniel. Short hair. Blue BDUs. Just like the slightly trembling man he was holding, except that there was a dark stain spreading on the front of his uniform jacket. His eyes were shut. Jack couldn't tell if he was alive or not, but even if he was, surely he wouldn't be for long.

Oh, please, no. Don't let that be the real Daniel. Not his Daniel. But--they were identical--they were the same--how could he tell which was the real one?

The cold fear had such a grip on his innards that he couldn't think straight. There had to be something...

The stitches. Jackson had two rows of stitches in his side. Two fairly new injuries.

Jack released his hold of the man who looked just like Daniel, and laid a hand on his side. Jack could feel him flinch, but that could've been just the unexpected touch--it couldn't mean that-

Suddenly, the man flashed into action. Punches and kicks rained on Jack at such speed and strength that he could never have expected it from Daniel--it made him remember those horrible moments when Daniel had been going through sarcophagus withdrawal--but this wasn't Daniel. It was Jackson.

Jackson had the surprise on his side, and Jack felt more shocked, more frozen than ever, now that he knew the man on the floor had to be Daniel. He couldn't return the blows. All he could was to try and block them. Without much success.

He found himself pinned against the wall, a knife pressed on his throat--he couldn't even tell when and where it had come from.

"I don't want to do this, Jack--I don't want to kill you--out of all the people in the world, you're the one I would never want to hurt," Jackson spoke wildly. Jack could feel his breath against his face. "Jack, I don't want to live in a universe without you! Can't we--can't we make a deal? Your Daniel's gone anyway--But I'm just like him--I promise, you would never know the difference!"

The look on Jackson's face was downright frightening, and not because it was mad. It wasn't. Despite Jackson's words, there was no maniacal grimace on his face. Just the profound sadness Jack had always seen in his eyes.

"You're nuts!" Jack grunted, hardly daring to swallow.

He tried to move. He'd have to find some way out of Jackson's grip.

Jackson didn't even say anything, just looked apologetic, as he added the pressure on the knife. Jack felt a sharp pain in his throat as the blade broke the surface of his skin.

"Come on, Jack! I know you--I know you couldn't stand a universe without me, either--just play along with me! We'll have to destroy the other body anyway, before the ECF escalates--and then no one will know that the one who died was the other one--the one who was first--I won't say 'real'! I'm just as real as he is!"

With his back against the wall but his eyes facing the room, Jack saw something Jackson couldn't see. He saw that Daniel--the Real Daniel, since that was what he was, and would always be to Jack--that Daniel wasn't dead, he was moving, crawling pathetically, but still, and he had the Beretta.

Jack just had to believe in him. Believe that he could make it. Daniel just needed a bit more time. A distraction. Jack had to keep Jackson talking, so he wouldn't hear Daniel approaching.

He'd just speak his mind. That would certainly distract Jackson more than enough.

"Like hell you are!" he said.

"I am! I'm--I'm more than him! I deserve this life! I deserve this reality! I've suffered, I've endured so much more than he has--My life has been a living hell for three years--Three years! Ever since Teal'c killed her-"

"A hell of your own making..."

Daniel was there, right at Jackson's feet, and Jackson still hadn't noticed a thing.

Jack reached to give his hand to Daniel.

He grabbed Jack's sleeve, and fought his way up, wavering. The hand he'd used to pull himself up immediately went to clutch at his chest. His face was so torn with pain that it was hardly recognizable--a horrible contrast to Jackson's placid sorrow.

Before Jackson had time to react, Daniel put the gun barrel against his temple.

"We're--not--the--same!" Daniel rasped, and pulled the trigger.

* * *

It was amazing how many thoughts could come and go in one fleeting moment, when one knew for sure it would be the last.

Daniel felt the cold metal on his temple, and heard the other Daniel's strained words, "We're not the same."

Daniel still thought that wasn't true. They were the same. If he had lived the life that this other Daniel had had, they would be exactly the same. He believed it, because to believe otherwise would be to accept that he really was evil, and probably crazy too.

No, there was no such thing as absolute good and evil, and he was just the result of extremely unlucky circumstances. He'd had a difficult life. And now it would end.

Daniel did not want to die. He did not want the other him to die, either.

Now, they would both die, and there would be no Daniel Jackson left in this reality.

Daniel saw the irony in the situation. In a way, this other him was doing what he had always wanted to do himself. What he had thought every time he had taken a life. The true way out. The thing he had never, ever dared to do. Because of Jack, he told himself.

Daniel had thought about suicide so often, but then he had thought about Jack, the grief on his face, the disbelief in those dear dark eyes, and he had not been able to do it.

If only he had died as well, three years ago, right there when Sha're had died, he could've been together with her...

Now, he would kill himself. Daniel would kill Daniel.

He heard the click of the trigger, so very close, right below his ear.

He was going to be with Sha're again.

Finally.

* * *

Both Daniels collapsed, but this time, Jack knew which was the real one.

Jack caught him just before he hit the floor, and held him on his lap, head resting against his chest.

Daniel was still alive. He was barely breathing, just gasping weakly, his ashen face contorted with pain.

"-'m not--him... Jack..." he whispered faintly.

"I know, Daniel. I know you're not. You're the real one. The one who belongs here."

He would stay here, too, if Jack had anything to say to that.

Jack glanced at the wound, and the frozen coldness attacked him in full force again. He tore Daniel's jacket open, and pulled up the T-shirt underneath.

It looked bad. As bad as it could get. A hole in his chest, slightly to the left. It wasn't bleeding quite as much as Jack would've expected, but that didn't make it any better. A bullet to the heart, or through the lung, whichever, it would still kill awfully fast--Jack had seen it happen far too many times--it was a miracle Daniel was still alive, still breathing-

-he wasn't, not anymore. His eyes had closed, and he had stopped gasping. Jack placed his fingers on Daniel's neck, moved them about frantically, hoping he was just too nervous, too clumsy--but he couldn't find a pulse.

His world had just gone from too many Daniels to none at all.

If Daniel had a bullet in his chest, let alone through it... Jack didn't think anything he could do would help a bit. He needed to get help fast-

Oh, for crying out loud! What a complete, total fool he was!

If his slow thinking would cost Daniel's life, he'd... He'd never forgive himself. He'd probably end up like Jackson. Nuts.

He'd completely forgotten that he had called for a med team when he'd been running towards this room--a lifetime ago, though it couldn't have been more than just a few minutes--were they here already, waiting behind the door?

"It's safe! Get in! Hurry!" he bellowed.

The door opened right away, and the medics rushed in, lead by Janet.

"Oh, no," she uttered, as she took in the sight of the two Daniels, one in Jack's arms with a gaping wound in his chest, the other on the floor, with blood and worse oozing through the hole in his head.

"Forget about Jackson. This is Daniel, and he's going to make it," Jack told her.

* * *

Author's Reminder: I still haven't changed my mind: I don't do deathfic. All right, well, if you count alternate and minor character deaths, I do. But no Real Daniels (tm) are ever going to be killed in my stories. Ever. Period.


	10. Equilibrium

"It's scoop and run, people. Grab him and we're off," Doc Fraiser shouted at her team. 

With that order, they leaped towards Jack and the limp Daniel on his lap, and started prying him away. Though Jack desperately wanted them to help Daniel, wanted them to reverse what looked like a certainly fatal injury, he still didn't want to let go. Didn't want to let them take him away. But the medics knew what they were doing, and pulled him from Jack's grasp.

"Alert the OR and have Doctor Warner standing by for a possible emergency thoracotomy," Fraiser told one of her staff, as they hurried out of the room.

Jack had no idea what that meant, but the way she said it, it didn't sound good. He wasn't really thinking about what he was doing, with all his attention on Daniel, but his feet knew what to do, so he stood up and followed the medics. They set Daniel's awfully dead-looking body on a gurney and started wheeling him away, towards the infirmary, with the Doc barking orders at them, and depressing medical data flying to and fro.

"He's not breathing."

"Start bagging!"

"No pulse."

"Can't get a BP."

Jack wanted to close his ears from it all. Not breathing and no pulse--as in, dead. That was it. Dead, gone, at the end of his rope, pushing up daisies--no, Jack wouldn't believe that. Daniel had been fine just an hour ago, when Jack had seen him before this, perfectly, physically fine. He couldn't be dead.

One of the medics had just started sticking those heart monitor electrode patches on Daniel's chest, when Daniel started convulsing. Jack hadn't witnessed ECF striking Daniel before, but he recognized it when he saw it. It made no sense, though. Wasn't it supposed to end when one of them was dead? Let alone both of them?

Jack stopped, though it meant that the hurrying medical team quickly escaped him. They were fighting to keep Daniel still now, binding him to the gurney with restraints.

His mind felt sluggish, like glue that refused to come out of its bottle. If there was still ECF, wouldn't that have to mean that both Daniels were still alive?

He'd told the medics to ignore Jackson. They had left his corpse in Daniel's lab, waiting for someone to take it away.

Jack turned around and ran back to the lab.

The door was open, and Jackson was on the floor. Jack couldn't make up if he was dead or not, but nevertheless, the ECF had him in its grip as well. It looked really weird, though, worse than with Daniel. The air around him looked distorted too, as if he was stuck in a bubble where space and physics weren't behaving like they should.

If Jackson wasn't dead, but Daniel was... If, through some miracle, the bullet had lodged itself in Jackson's skull and hadn't done irreversible brain damage after all... Jackson had pleaded to Jack that having him around would be just like having Daniel, so, if they could save Jackson, maybe he really... Wouldn't any Daniel Jackson be better than none at all?

No, Jack couldn't believe he was actually considering that!

He picked up the Beretta from the floor, loaded it and shot at Jackson. Several times.

It didn't change the ECF.

Jack really had no idea how ECF worked. But Carter would know. He'd have to ask Carter.

Jack had sent her off to check on Jackson just before he'd run here. Maybe Carter was still in that VIP room. Hopefully, she was still there. He picked up the phone, and called her. It seemed to ring for ages, and he was sure she wasn't there... And all the while, he didn't know what was up with Daniel... If they'd already given up, decided there was nothing they could do...

"Carter," the familiar voice answered. Hearing it was a huge relief.

"Carter! This ECF thing! Isn't it supposed to end when they're dead?"

"They're--Oh God, Daniel's not-"

"Carter, I need an answer right now," Jack forced himself to sound firm. Keep the worry and the pain away from his voice. Daniel could well be dead already. The medics would probably not be able to do much to help him if they couldn't even keep him still.

"Well, if--No, sir, that's not exactly how it goes. It's just advanced physics, so I'd expect it to go on as long as the physical matter of the person remains. Physics doesn't ask, well, metaphysical questions. Whether or not there's such a thing as a soul, and whether or not it's still in the body, that doesn't mean a thing. It's all about the physical matter."

Jeez--Jack remembered vaguely something that Jackson had said--about having to destroy the other body before the ECF "escalates", whatever he'd meant with that. So, they needed to get rid of the body. That shouldn't be too hard.

"Carter, get a zat. Don't care where from, just get one fast, and meet me at the elevators."

Jack braced himself for whatever, and grabbed Jackson's body.

He was instantly caught in one of the strangest feelings he'd ever met. Like the time everywhere around him had changed into syrup. It was moving very slowly, except when it fell, like a drop, and then landed somewhere and froze for a moment. The space, the air around him, his view of the world, they were twisted as well, stretched and squeezed in turn.

He could barely see where he was going, and carrying a trembling Jackson didn't make it any easier. He struck the wall next to the door, fell back, dazed, caught his balance again, and actually found the doorway on the second try.

He tried to run, but it wasn't any good.

He was too slow.

Through the twirling and twisting time and space around him, he saw a figure in front of him. In uniform. With blond hair. It had to be Sam. She'd come up to meet him.

"Shoot! Carter, shoot!" he yelled at her.

She was a good soldier, and obeyed his order without questioning. The familiar pain of the zat blast hit him. He dropped Jackson involuntarily, and fell to the floor. But he had to stay conscious. One blast wasn't enough.

Jack could see that Jackson was still caught in the ECF. The odd skewing of space and time reached even further from him now.

"Again! Three times!"

He heard the sound of two quick consecutive blasts.

The distorted bubble vanished from in front of him, and so did Jackson. As if he'd never existed.

* * *

Sam just stood there, feeling completely stupefied and shocked, trying to catch her breath.

She had no idea what had happened.

She'd zatted Daniel three times. Annihilated him. Zatted him out of existence. Or, someone who looked just like Daniel. It had to be Jackson. It had surely been Jackson.

She'd zatted Colonel O'Neill too, but just once, so the Colonel was lying on the floor now, looking like he probably felt just like she did, or maybe a bit worse.

"Sir? You all right?" she asked, worried.

"Help me up," he answered.

She offered him both hands, and pulled him on his feet. He started jogging as soon as he was up. It looked as if he really wanted to hurry, but hadn't got enough strength left to run any faster.

"Colonel, what happened?"

"Long story short: Jackson killed everyone."

Her breath caught in her throat. Everyone--he had killed the guards, and they had doubted all along that he'd been the one to attack Teal'c, so he might've killed Teal'c in his own universe, and Sam's counterpart, and Janet--but that couldn't mean that-

"...Daniel?"

"...and tried to kill Daniel, but the Doc's got him, but..." Jack stopped on his tracks. "And they're going to fix it. They've got to."

"How--what-"

"He took a bullet to the chest."

"Oh my God..."

"So, let's run, shall we?"

He didn't need to ask twice.

This time, when they reached the surprisingly silent infirmary, there was no nurse to tell them that there were no news. Instead, General Hammond was there, clearly waiting for them.

"Colonel, Major--I'm afraid they took him straight to surgery, and Doctor Fraiser particularly requested that she doesn't want an audience in the operating room, since this is likely to be... As she said herself, 'it might get really ugly'."

"Then he's still--he can't be dead, if they're operating on him, right?" O'Neill asked.

"Apparently not. I can't tell. I don't even know how he got injured in the first place. Actually, I would really appreciate it if someone could explain to me what the hell is going on in my base."

"I know where the story ends, sort of, but the beginning's a bit hazy. Carter, what was up in the VIP room, anyway?"

"I would truly appreciate it if you could explain these things to me as well," Teal'c's deep voice reached them from the other end of the room.

She had nearly forgotten that he was here--as had the others--the thought that Daniel might be dead had been so overwhelming. They all walked over to Teal'c's bedside.

"I only heard of a grave medical emergency, which caused many of the personnel to leave this room and head elsewhere," Teal'c told them.

Sam nodded, trying to collect her thoughts enough to put together an explanation of what she'd seen. "I went to the VIP room, and found that both guards were dead. Stabbed. I also found out that Jackson had cut his hair, so he'd look just like Daniel."

"He did look just like Daniel--I hate to admit, but he really had me there, for a while," Jack picked up the story from her.

"By the time I got to Daniel's lab, he'd already shot Daniel," he fell silent for a while, and put a hand over his heart. "Shot him right here. The son-of-a-bitch. The bastard. He attacked me, too, and--well, I'll be honest, he had me pinned. Either he had better hand-to-hand combat skills than our Daniel, or then Daniel's really hiding his true talent from us. But it was Daniel who really got him in the end. Put a bullet in his brain. That served him right."

"But that didn't stop the ECF, right? And it was threatening to kill--well, to stop them from healing Daniel? That's why we zatted Jackson three times?" Sam checked she'd really figured it out correctly.

Jack nodded. "That's one good reason for it... I could think of others, too. Like, the man was a serial killer. Hell, he tried to kill Teal'c and Daniel. He had it coming."

He'd been a serial killer, he had tried to kill two of her team--and still, he had been Daniel. It was a paradox she still couldn't grasp. Just like the idea that Daniel was fighting for his life now. Though she'd heard it repeatedly from the Colonel, she couldn't picture it in her mind, couldn't believe it, since she hadn't seen it with her own eyes.

Thinking of Jackson, another thought crossed her mind. The mirror. They'd been fixing the mirror with the Tok'ra, and the Tok'ra could use a Goa'uld healing device, far better than she could. Maybe they could help Daniel. She'd have to go and fetch them here.

"I'm going to ask the Tok'ra-"

General Hammond bowed his head at her words, and shook it slightly. "I'm afraid you can't. They received an urgent communication from their High Council, asking them to return as soon as possible. Soon after that, I learned from you that Jackson was not what he appeared, so we would certainly not want to help him escape. So, I told the Tok'ra that we did not need their help anymore, and they could leave right away. They've left already."

That made it her fault, in a way--if she had just known that Daniel had been shot before she'd called Hammond from the VIP room--if he had already been shot by that time. But there was no way she could've known... Still, it made her feel guilty.

"No--but--we can call them back-"

"We can and we will, but--and I don't want to sound depressing, Major--but I'm not sure whether it will make a difference anymore."

She knew that was true, but they'd have to try, at least. She could go and get the healing device herself, but she didn't know if she'd be able to--and besides, she didn't know what was going on, exactly. If Daniel had any chance at all. If anything less than a sarcophagus could still save him.

"I shall go and contact them myself. Just so you know, I'm going to need a full debriefing from all of you about the events of the last day or so," Hammond told them. "But you needn't hurry with it."

"Well, that's good, sir, since, with all due respect--I'm not going to do a damn thing until I know Daniel's going to make it," O'Neill said the very thing Sam had been thinking.

They got a pair of chairs and sat down next to Teal'c.


	11. The Heart of Things

Author's Comment: This story has, sort of, turned from a quantum mirror whodunit into the SG-version of ER. Lots of medical stuff here, and in the following chapter(s?) too. Now, I've got nothing whatsoever to do with medicine, except that I spend far too much time googling that sort of stuff for my fic. And I've found that this sort of thing can actually happen. Though, it's just weird fan fic. ;-)

* * *

Oddly enough, Sam found herself growing more hopeful as time passed. As long as the medics kept going, there was hope. They'd stop if there was none. Still, at times, she couldn't help imagining all kinds of horrible scenarios, with Janet spending countless minutes trying to resuscitate a certainly dead Daniel, giving an electric shock after another, administering all the drugs she could think of, just because she didn't want to give up.

"Anyway, Carter..." Jack began after a long silence, as if continuing something he'd said before.

"Hm?"

"This ECF--now that it's not going to bother us anymore... Jackson said something about it 'escalating' if we didn't destroy the other body. What do you think? Was he just telling stories again?"

"Well, no, surely it has to end somewhere. I don't know if anyone knows where, exactly. It might have catastrophic consequences. Major spatio-temporal disturbance. Dimensional collapse. Or then, it might've just ended with Jackson disappearing as if he never existed. The physics of alternate universe travel are still far beyond our understanding."

"So, good thing we didn't wait and see."

"Mm-hm."

She really hadn't got anything else to say to that. It was extremely interesting, of course, just not right now.

Hammond hadn't showed up again after he'd left. They'd heard no news of the Tok'ra. If they'd been called back on something important, then just getting through to them might prove difficult.

"What will become of the quantum mirror?" Teal'c changed the subject.

"Don't think anyone knows," Jack answered him. "Hammond's probably going to say, once again, that we should get rid of it, and this time, I'm not sure I'll protest."

"Sir--No, we can't destroy it! The technology and the insight into physics that it offers..."

She fell silent again at the sound of an opening door. It was Janet.

If she was here, and not working anymore, did that mean that Daniel... That it was all over? Or could it mean that she had good news?

She approached them, walking slowly. Her expression was impossible to read. She had changed her clothes already, because she was wearing a spotless uniform. No Daniel's blood anywhere to be seen. But she looked exhausted, and dazed, as if she wasn't sure where she was and what she was doing.

Sam got off her chair, and offered it to her. She fell on it heavily, blinking fast, as if fighting off tears.

"Doc?" Jack asked, the desperate need to know so clear in his voice.

Janet shook her head, and finally opened her mouth, but what she got out didn't make much sense. "Please, don't get me wrong... I'm... He's--It's... The-"

"Janet? Everything all right?" Sam asked, and put an arm around her shoulders.

"Yes, yes, everything's fine, Sam, at least at the moment, mostly... I'm sorry, I'm just so tired, and still having a hard time with this myself..."

She took a deep breath, regaining some of her usual composure. "Daniel's alive. He's stable, at the moment. But he's got a bullet in his heart."

Sam frowned, wondering whether she'd heard that one correctly.

"You're kidding, right?" O'Neill said instantly. "That's not possible, is it?" he glanced at Sam for confirmation.

She just raised her eyebrows and shrugged. She didn't think so, but she was pretty sure Janet wouldn't be kidding when it came to their friend's life.

"It's quite possible, though it's amazing--the whole thing, the surgery--I've never taken part in such an amazing rescue, not in my entire career, and from the medical point of view, such cases are rare. I've got to say, Daniel Jackson is one extremely lucky man. There were so many things that could've went wrong, or things that could've been just slightly different, and he would've died before we ever got to him."

"So--what's up with him, really? Honestly?" O'Neill asked again.

"It's a long story, with a lot of medical data, Colonel."

His answer caught Sam by surprise. "Just try me," he said. He really needed to hear it all, just like she did. To know what Janet meant and what had happened.

"I don't know if you noticed, Colonel, but the bullet hit his forearm before it entered his chest--just grazed it, and made a hole in his sleeve. But it was important, because it slowed down the bullet significantly, which was one lucky detail--the shot came from a pretty close range, right?"

"Can't say. I didn't see it. None of us did. Daniel's the only one who might know."

"Nevertheless, it was slowed down, and then hit his chest, going straight into his heart. Now, if it had been a clear, point-blank shot, it would've probably gone all the way through, which would certainly have caused irreparable cardiac damage. Instead, it lodged in there. Still, the hemorrhage--the bleeding that it caused, would have killed him quickly, without one other lucky thing."

"I would not utilize the word lucky in this context," Teal'c noted.

"Anything that stopped Daniel from bleeding to death is definitely lucky, T."

"I'd say so, too. But this so-called lucky thing actually very nearly killed him. It's what caused the cardiac arrest he was in when we got him. A thing called cardiac tamponade. It happens when the pericardium--that's basically a sac surrounding the heart--is filled with blood. So, the bullet penetrated both the pericardium and the heart wall, but the pericardium then sealed, and prevented the blood from getting out. Which was actually a good thing, because without it the blood loss would've been far too massive and too rapid. On the other hand, the gathering blood put so much pressure on his heart that it couldn't beat normally--and I know I don't need to tell you how bad a thing that is."

Sam figured she'd actually followed most of that. She did have some basic medical knowledge, after all, though this was already testing its limits. The Colonel had his face wrinkled in a way that told he was fighting to understand it, but couldn't quite get there.

"Anyway, you've got it fixed, then?" he asked.

"Well, yes, in a way, as I said. The ECF nearly prevented us from doing anything at all--the treatment for cardiac tamponade is to get some of that blood out either with a needle or with surgery, and we couldn't do either, when we couldn't keep him still. Whatever you did to stop the ECF certainly was one of the things that saved his life."

"I zatted Jackson out of existence. I'm still not proud of it," Sam told her.

"But, you've got it fixed, right?" O'Neill repeated.

"Colonel, I'm getting there. I told you it's a long story. So, we managed to get some of the blood out and relieve the pressure on his heart enough to have it started again, but it was a temporary relief at best, because it wouldn't hold before we got the wound fixed. We had to open up his chest and..." she shook her head, and gazed at her hand, flexing her fingers, frowning. "If you know what we have to do when the patient's on the table with his chest opened, and he arrests--But never mind the gory details. My point being, we were able to fix the wound, but getting the bullet out would've been a lot more difficult, and we decided not to risk it."

"...and he'll be all right? With that bullet in there?"

Janet grimaced. "Well. That's a question I can't answer with any certainty. This is far from my specialization, and Doctor Warner's as well. We need an experienced cardiologist here. We've already asked for one, so we can get an opinion on what to do with it. As I said earlier, Daniel seems stable for now, but as long as the bullet stays in, we can't count on that. It could embolize--start moving around--or cause an infection, or more cardiac damage, not to mention other possible complications, like arrhythmias. We'll probably have to get it out as soon as we can. Until then... There's nothing to keep you from visiting him."

"And you took this long to tell us that?" O'Neill complained, and got up right away. Sam followed him.

* * *

It was just the two of them now, Daniel lying still and lifeless in his bed, and Jack sitting by his side, absently stroking his hair.

Janet had let Teal'c out of bed for long enough that he'd gotten a moment with Daniel, but he'd had to get back already. Sam had stayed for a good while, but then she'd decided to go and ask if the Tok'ra had been reached yet. She seemed to take that really personally, somehow, and she was really anxious to get them here. He didn't really share those thoughts. The Tok'ra had snakes in their heads, and they were suspicious, would always be. They only helped when it served their own interests. He trusted Janet. Trusted her with his life, and Daniel's.

Jack gazed at the hypnotic series of tiny hills and valleys making their way across the heart monitor screen, accompanied by that annoying, but reassuring steady beeping sound. He didn't think it was any different from what he'd usually see and hear when someone was badly hurt and caught in the infirmary. No signs of a bullet in there.

He'd just have to believe it existed, as weird as it was. Not that he didn't have proof, though. The illuminated wall across held a series of pictures--x-rays and other things that Jack couldn't name, let alone figure out what, exactly, they showed. Janet, or some other medic, had been helpful enough to draw a circle around the bullet in each image.

She'd called Daniel lucky. Jack thought that wasn't the whole truth. He was sure that Daniel was still alive because he had decided he wanted to live. Despite the fact that he'd been so indifferent, so desperate and lost with the loss of Sha're, he wouldn't just give up. He was a survivor.

"You're one hell of a fighter, Danny. Way better than Jackson."

In a way, there was something really metaphorical about what had happened. Poetical, almost. Jackson had shot Daniel in the heart, which was the most vulnerable part of him, not just physically, but figuratively as well. The best part of him. Shot him with the bullet, and the thought that, deep down, they might be the same. And Daniel had shot Jackson in the head. The other best part of him. All that Jackson had left, since he'd probably lost what little remained of his heart a long time ago. If not with the death of Sha're three years ago, then soon after that. If he'd really killed Teal'c.

But Jackson was gone now, for good. All that remained were a load of bad memories, and that goddamn bullet. Janet would get it out. They'd help Daniel have his heart healed both in the physical and the figurative sense.

* * *

Daniel's consciousness had fallen apart, shattered into a thousand tiny fragments, flashes of memories and feelings that he couldn't understand or arrange.

Bright blue eyes locked with his, sadness and regret etched in the lines around them. His eyes. Jackson's eyes. Were his eyes really that big and bright?

The sound of the pistol going off. So loud it hurt his ears. Right in front of him.

Incredible pain in his chest. Was that in the past, or in the present? He could feel it all the time, but there were other flashes, other feelings...

Something stinging his forearm, and then tearing through his chest--into his heart, he thought, but it couldn't be, because then he would be dead, and he wasn't.

Jack, speaking softly but sharply, angry, challenging.

The unmistakable scent of the infirmary. Too clean and sterile.

Jackson attacking Jack, his hands and feet flailing wildly, pushing him against the wall. The knife in his hand.

The agony, worse than ever before, blazing when he crawled forward on the floor, painting a red trail on it, the fingers of one hand cramped around the pistol.

Jack, speaking softly, kindly, sadly.

Sick, dizzy, suffocating, hurting, his hand clutching the bullet wound in his chest, his heart hammering desperately beneath it. His other hand holding the pistol against Jackson's head.

The sounds of the infirmary, beeping, hissing, soft but clear, constantly there.

His own voice telling Jackson that they weren't the same. They weren't. They looked the same, but they were different. Jackson was a murderer. They couldn't be the same.

The bang of the pistol again. So near.

Jack holding him, speaking again, such a soothing voice.

He wasn't like Jackson. He belonged here.

He would fight it, the pain, the nightmarish words Jackson had said, about having killed them all... If he'd just give in, he might find Sha're again, but he wouldn't do that.

He would fight because of his friends. Jack, Sam and Teal'c. His family. He needed them, and they needed him. He knew that. That was why he wasn't like Jackson, and never would be.


	12. Dilemma

Author's Comment: Thank you for the reviews. :-) I'm really interested to hear what you think, especially now that this story decided to move into a direction I didn't quite see when I first started writing it... SGC goes ER. Chapter 2. Or, Fa3Y, chap 12. Here you go.

* * *

Teal'c had spent enough time in bed, thinking, meditating. His health had improved quickly since his symbiote was nearly in full health again, and it had suffered far more than his actual body.

He got off his bed and stood up. His feet were steady. He lacked some strength, but it was not the strength of the body that he needed now. It was that of the mind. He needed to trust in Doctor Fraiser's skills, and to believe that Daniel Jackson would be well again.

He had not even reached the door, when Doctor Fraiser appeared, shaking her finger at him.

"Just wait a moment, there."

"I am nearly fully healed, and I insist you allow me to continue as normally. I wish to stay by Daniel Jackson's side as do Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter."

"I can't let you go before checking that you really are as 'fully healed' as you tell me. Just give me a moment."

Teal'c nodded, and backed away to the bed where he had been resting. He waited placidly for her to finish her examination, as uncomfortable as it was to have someone prodding at his pouch. It greatly irritated his prim'ta. Nevertheless, since Doctor Fraiser deemed it necessary, he did not mind.

She was nearly finished, taking off her gloves, when the telephone rang. Teal'c found the sound ominous. All these events had begun with that one phone call O'Neill had received, when they had been spending time peacefully at his apartment, and ever since, he had not heard of one that would have brought good news.

His somewhat unreasonable suspicions were quickly confirmed, as the Doctor picked it up, and listened for a while.

When she spoke in answer, her face carried clear signs of concern. "Damn! Yes, I'll be there in a sec."

"What has occurred, Doctor Fraiser?"

She shook her head. "Complications with Daniel. I've got to run. I'm not clearing you off the infirmary yet, but since you're really looking surprisingly healthy, I won't complain if you follow me and stay with him."

She had not said what kind of complications, exactly, but since her worry was so evident, it instantly spread to Teal'c as well. She ran off with such speed that he had trouble keeping up with it.

As they entered the observation-operation room were Daniel Jackson was, Teal'c thought that perhaps his extreme worry had been premature. There was only one nurse in the room, together with Colonel O'Neill.

"He was awake for a while," O'Neill told them, speaking softly but intently. "Opened his eyes, just a crack, but he looked at me when I spoke to him, I'm sure of that. He was there. He saw me, and then he went back to sleep."

Teal'c regretted very much that he had not been there to see it. But there had been speak of complications, and as far as he knew, regaining consciousness was not one.

Indeed, it seemed that Doctor Fraiser was not even listening to O'Neill. She addressed the nurse instead.

"How long since the symptoms started?"

"It's a bit hard to say exactly since his body temperature was on the high side to begin with, but the fever really spiked about five minutes ago, and he's been getting increasingly tachycardic since then," the nurse answered.

Fraiser nodded, still looking very grave. She moved closer to observe some of the monitor readings that Teal'c could not understand, and then to examine her patient.

"I need another echo and X-ray, stat--and page Doctor Warner, I want a second opinion on this."

"What's going on, Doc? Is it serious?" O'Neill asked.

"Let's pray it isn't. Looks like an infection, but I can't tell how bad it is, and what's the exact cause. Hopefully I can say more after a few more tests."

"Did you not request for expert help on this matter?" Teal'c inquired, in turn.

"We did, yes, but we just reached her, and since she's coming from Fort Detrick, Maryland, it's going to take more than a few hours before she's here, especially given all the trouble with security clearances and so on..."

"From Maryland? For crying out loud, why didn't you just go ahead and call someone from Paris while you were at it! Aren't there any heart specialists around in Colorado Springs?"

"Of course there are, but we're dealing with an unusual case of trauma here, not some standard heart condition. Any cardiologist might not know what to do with it. Now, Doctor Carlsen's been in the military for nearly thirty years, and she has extensive experience on dealing with cardiac gunshot wounds and their complications. She's the best there is for this job, and I wouldn't have anyone less than that in this case."

"Right. None but the best, I agree with you on that," O'Neill said. He had placed a hand on Daniel Jackson's shoulder. "Danny's going to hang on until she gets here--aren't you?"

To the surprise of them all, Daniel Jackson suddenly opened his eyes. His expression was not hard to interpret. His eyebrows were raised, his eyes wide with fear and anguish. He lifted his hand, very slowly, as if it was extremely heavy, and placed it on his chest.

* * *

Sam waited at the far end of the embarkation room, standing on the tips of her toes, gaze fixed on the open gate. The Tok'ra had answered their earlier communications in a very negative tone. They'd told that if this was about one single human only and nothing else than that, then they could not spare the time. Nevertheless, here they were with an incoming wormhole and the Tok'ra IDC.

A solitary figure emerged from the event horizon, and Hammond could instantly order the soldiers to lower their weapons. It was Martouf, once again, just all alone this time.

"Martouf! I'm so glad you could come," she called out when they approached each other.

"I came against the advice of others. Lantash did not completely agree with me in this, either. But I know how important Daniel Jackson is, not only to you, but to the alliance between us, and to our fight against the System Lords. If there is anything I can do to help, I will. He must not die."

Sam gave him a quick hug. Not all her warm feelings towards him were residual from Jolinar. Coming here even when everyone told him not to showed that he really was a good man, caring and compassionate. Or then it was just because of his feelings for Jolinar. Maybe he had just come because he reflected his feelings on her and didn't want her to feel bad... But no, she couldn't take the credit for his return. Whatever his reasons, she was glad he was here, even though as far as she knew, Daniel wasn't in any immediate peril.

"The last I saw him, it actually didn't look as bad as you might think. He's--the bullet's stuck inside him, but our Doctor thought it might not cause any harm if it just stays in its place."

"Your weapons truly are curious. I have never encountered anything like this. I doubt whether a healing device will be of much help here. Lantash tells me that we should just ignore this and turn back, but let us go and see him, and I'll see what I can do."

When they reached the isolation room, she found that she might have been slightly too optimistic. Doctors Warner and Fraiser were talking in low, serious voices, and both Teal'c and O'Neill were crouched close to Daniel at his bedside. She couldn't help noticing that the ever-present beeping so often heard in the infirmary was a lot faster than what what she'd expect.

"Carter--Marty! You picked the perfect time to pay us a visit," the Colonel greeted them. His light, joking tone carried an edge that told he was just trying to cover his anxiety. "The Docs haven't bothered to explain a thing to us yet, but Daniel's obviously taken a turn for the worse. And you just missed him being awake. Not that he could say anything with that tube in his mouth, though..."

Janet turned to look at them as well, putting aside the papers and images she had been examining. "Martouf. Do you have a healing device of your own, or should we get the one we've got? Is there anything you can do? We would really appreciate any help."

That sounded bad. Sam didn't think she'd ever heard Janet ask for help like that, admitting her helplessness so openly. "Janet? I thought you said he was stable?"

"He was, just a while ago. Now, we're facing some serious complications. Life-threatening. He's showing signs of infection, and his condition's deteriorating rapidly. Also, from what we can see in the scans, it looks like the bullet's grown bigger. That suggests there's blood clotting around it. It might be the cause of the infection. Even if it's not, it could instantly block a vessel if it started moving, and there are signs of cardiac trauma that weren't there before. We need to do something, and fast."

Martouf had already produced a healing device and positioned himself next to Daniel's bed, holding the device over him. Sam placed her hand over her mouth in anxious anticipation, as the light orange glow of the device hit his chest.

It wasn't much more than a quick flash. Martouf let his hands droop and shook his head.

"I can see the damage, but there really isn't much I can do, since the source of the trouble is this foreign object within his heart. This," he said, lifting the device still in his hand, "This is a healing device, and not a transporter. I do not have the means to get this bullet out."

Sam saw the Doctors exchange a meaningful glance.

"What about that cardiologist you..." she started.

Teal'c answered before she was finished, "It will take many hours before this expert will arrive."

"And I'm very much afraid it'll be too late by then," Janet added. "They way things look, and I'm just being realistic here, I don't think he's got that long. So, if Martouf can't do anything, then..."

Doctor Warner nodded to her. "I agree. If he's to have any chance of surviving, we have to act quickly. I just wish we had someone around with some experience in this kind of operations."

"As do we all, but-" Janet had turned to stare intently at the Tok'ra. "Martouf, if we get the bullet out, then you can help, right? You could just stand by and wait during the surgery--and if something should go badly wrong, maybe you could try and help?"

"My experience in medicine is very limited, and Lantash is still not very willing to help, but I will be here and do my best."

"Thank you, that's all we ask," she told him, and then turned her head, gazing at each of the three conscious members of SG-1 in the eye. "I won't do this if you're strongly opposed to it, but I think it's the best, and probably only, chance he's got."

"Do what?" O'Neill asked, looking confused.

"Since we're running out of time here, we've got to try and get the bullet out on our own. It's going to be a very risky operation, but without it, the prognosis is even worse."

"So, you go for it, with Marty backing you up. Sounds good to me."

"I agree," Teal'c said.

Sam thought about it for a while. The idea of Daniel dying at Janet's hands on the operating table was terrible, but she didn't see any other options. Janet clearly didn't think they could wait and hope that he would live until they got the specialist here, and Martouf couldn't do anything.

So, she nodded. "I think you should do it."

"All right. I need the room cleared and cleaned and ready and the patient prepped for surgery asap. We'd better call Doctor Carlsen and ask if she has any suggestions on how, exactly, we should go on about this. You're free to stay in the observation room and watch, if you think you're up to it. I can promise that even if all goes well, this isn't going to be pretty."


	13. In and Out

Author's Ramblings: All rightie. Real Life--yes, I have one... I think... if school counts as life--well, whatever--it suddenly launched a full scale attack on me, so I've not been able to write as much as I'd have liked to. That's why, rather than keep you waiting for a looong time, I'm posting a shorter chap. And so you know, there really aren't that many left of this story, anyway. Though this is likely to the shortest chap of the whole story, it's also the one with the highest ick/yeesh factor...

* * *

Jack picked up a pen from the table and twiddled it absently. He needed to do something, anything, whatever, or he'd go crazy. They'd been sitting here a good while already, with the Doctors doing their unimaginably disgusting stuff--cutting through skin and muscle, wrenching ribs out of the way, whatever, Jack really didn't want to know the details. Even if Daniel survived this, he'd get some really magnificent scars, and healing would certainly take some time.

The observation room above the OR was far enough that they couldn't really see a whole lot. The Doc had made the sensible decision that they'd not be sending any camera feed to them. Jack really agreed with her on that. He'd seen blood and guts before, all right, but... No, he really didn't need to see them cutting into Daniel's heart. The thought alone made him feel sick. Actually seeing it would be way beyond what he could take.

All Jack could see was a room filled with people dressed in green surgical robes, and in the middle, on the table, a figure covered with the same fabric. He couldn't even see Daniel's face. All he had was a monitor showing some very technical medical data, squiggles and numbers. Numbers, for God's sake. Was that all it came down to? All that was left of Daniel?

Martouf was down there as well, sitting alone in the corner where he wouldn't be in the way. Though Jack couldn't see his face properly, he figured he looked a bit green around the gills. Looked like he'd rather be anywhere else in the universe.

"All right... Making the cardiac incision," Doctor Warner informed the team and the anxious audience. As Jack well knew, he was doing most of the actual work, with Fraiser assisting. He was the surgeon, after all. More experienced, and still, not a whole lot.

"Looking good, so far," Fraiser noted.

Jack didn't know what looked good. He didn't think anything about the situation could look good. He turned his head a bit, and saw Carter and Teal'c sitting next to him.

He couldn't remember ever seeing Teal'c look that tense. It looked weird. His expression was the same, and then again, it wasn't. All the muscles underneath that dark skin were taut as wire.

Carter, on the other hand, didn't even try to hide her horror of what they were watching. Looked like she wasn't far from tears. Jack wondered if he should do something about that. Pat her on the back or whatever. He decided it would probably do no good.

Yeesh. Warner was asking for forceps. They were there, and going for the bullet. This was it.

All Jack could see was Warner crouched over the figure on the table.

"There... I have it..." he announced in a barely audible voice.

"We're getting PVCs," Fraiser noted.

Jack really couldn't understand what the plastic was about--but then, he noticed what she probably meant. A few freakish shapes among the regular pattern of that squiggle he took to be the EKG line. He felt his own heart skip a few beats at that realization.

"I've got it. Almost there... Damn!" Warner cursed loudly. "I lost it."

"It's getting worse--let it be, we'll just have to close it and try again when we've found out where it went-"

"No, it's still right here, I can feel it--I have it again-"

"Goddammit, just leave it when she tells you to," Jack muttered under his breath.

"V-tach!" Fraiser yelled. Whatever the words meant, the message was clear: 'get the hell out of there and fast'.

"Yes, I can see that!" Warner shouted back, sounding exasperated.

"I'll get this bastard out--yes! There!" he declared victoriously, and backed away. He reached to place that bastard--that damn bullet--on a tray next to the table.

"Still in v-tach," Fraiser uttered.

They hadn't had the time to start celebrating, when the alarm they'd all be fearing went off.

Jack saw Fraiser look down and shake her head. "V-fib."

"We've got to start internal compressions-" Warner began, but Fraiser just shook her head again.

"There's too much damage. It's no good."

That was it? They'd come all the way here, and now they'd give up? Jack thought he knew her, and he couldn't believe she'd say that. And she didn't. She went on,

"But--Martouf! Martouf, if there's anything you can do, now's the time! Hurry!"

Martouf leaped up from his corner and ran to the table, elbowing a few of the staff out of the way. He stretched his hands above that green-and-blood-covered figure that was supposed to be Daniel. Despite the glow of the healing device that quickly lit it, the cold dread refused to let go of Jack's mind.

He could feel the whole room, and the one below, holding their breaths. Everything was silent except for that relentless alarm.

It fell silent as well, for a passing second, when Martouf drew away his hands. Then, when Jack was sure he'd faint from lack of oxygen, it settled in that steady beep once again.

"Back in sinus! Pulse at 120," Fraser spelled it out in medical terms.

She couldn't keep that professional facade for any longer than that. Instead, she flung herself at Martouf and grabbed him in a hug.

Jack noticed he'd broken the pen he'd been fiddling.

He wanted to hug Martouf too.

The vague shape that was supposed to be Daniel suddenly stopped being so vague. He bolted up on the table, scattering green fabric and surgical instruments and whatnot all around the place, adding to the near-chaos already in the OR.

Before anyone got there to stop him, he'd managed to rip that breathing tube thing out of his mouth.

"Janet--what--the hell is--going on?" his breathless, raspy voice reached the observation room.

"It's all right, Daniel, just lie down," Fraiser told him soothingly, trying to push him back.

He wouldn't have it. No matter how close to death he'd been, he was as stubborn as ever. And still, not far from panic, it seemed.

"No, I--Oh God--Jackson--Jack!" he called out, bloodstained chest heaving.

Jack didn't need to hear more than that. He got up and ran.

He certainly broke a few speed records on the way, so when he got there, Daniel was still sitting up, despite the Docs and nurses fussing all over and around him.

His gaze was darting wildly about, but as soon as Jack got near, it fixed on him.

"Jack! Jack--you all right?"

"You're asking me that?" Jack didn't think that made much sense. It wasn't like he had been the one who had got shot.

Daniel pointed a hand towards Jack's throat. He placed a hand on it, and felt the uneven line of the cut traversing it where Jackson had threated him with the knife. He had completely forgotten about that. No one else had noticed, either. It was barely more than a scratch. But Daniel had went down at the same time as Jackson, and he might not have seen what had happened, exactly. Whether Jackson had just dropped the knife, or managed to do something with it.

Jack couldn't begin to guess what Daniel remembered of those dreadful minutes when he'd been in that room with that bullet hole in his chest. Whatever it was, it probably wasn't nice.

"Nah, don't worry, Danny, this is nothing, I've done far worse with a razor on a bad morning."

"Jackson?"

"Jackson's gone. Forget about him. He got what he deserved."

"...dead?"

"Gone for good."

"I killed him... But I'm--he's--not the same-"

"Yeah, he was nothing like you," Jack reassured him, placing a hand on his shivering shoulder. "Just forget about him."

Daniel nodded, though his bewildered expression didn't change a bit.

"Teal'c?"

"Well, you know Junior... T's a lot better already. He's on his feet again. But I really think you should do as the Doc says and lie down."

"But--there's nothing wrong with me, really. Not hurting anymore."

"I wouldn't be quite so quick to say there's nothing wrong with anyone who's just woken up from open heart surgery," Fraiser put in.

Daniel fell silent and gazed at her with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"Just be nice and humor the Docs, will ya. They've been having a hard time with this. As have you. Believe me."

Daniel shrugged, and finally lay back on the table. Fraiser moved in to check his vitals, and offered Jack a warm smile as thanks.

"May I?" Jack asked, and picked up a cloth from a nearby table, gesturing vaguely at Daniel's chest. Fraiser nodded.

Since he couldn't stand seeing all that blood, he began wiping it off, slightly concerned what he might find beneath it.

"Jack?" Daniel asked, frowning.

"A moment, Danny... Just stay still."

The blood was already drying and sticky, and didn't come off that easily. A nurse came to offer Jack a wet cloth instead. He accepted it thankfully. Daniel flinched when it touched his skin, but, for once, obeyed Jack's order and stayed down. It worked a lot better.

"Well, I'll be damned,"Jack whispered.

All he saw, all he found, was perfectly smooth, unharmed skin. No scars. Nothing at all. Not the slightest sign of all the horrors that had passed.


	14. Assurance

Daniel had been in a whole lot of disturbing situations during his time at the SGC. Waking up on the operating table, surrounded by people dressed in surgical clothes and staring at him as if he'd just come back from the dead, ranked pretty high among them. 

Getting over the first shock of where he'd found himself took some time. He still had trouble arranging the memories of his last moments before he'd passed out. Jack helped him, telling what, exactly, he'd seen when he'd barged into the room and found Jackson posing as Daniel, and Daniel lying on the floor, fighting for his life. Told him how he'd defied all odds, grabbing the pistol and crawling and standing up and shooting Jackson.

He really had done it. He had killed Jackson, just like that. But he'd been so mad at him, he could remember that. Even through all the pain and the frightening realization that he was dying, he had heard Jackson's words. He'd heard how Jackson had told Jack that he would be just like him. No difference at all. More than anything, Daniel had been afraid that Jack would accept that. But of course he hadn't, he said. He would never do that.

Even if Jackson might somehow have survived that gunshot through the skull, it didn't matter anymore. Sam had zatted him away. No trace left that he had ever existed. Daniel wanted to think that he'd deserved that, but he couldn't. Still, after what Jackson had done to him and Teal'c and all the people in his reality, Daniel couldn't think of him as a completely evil person. Nothing could ever do away with the fact that they had been the same to begin with. Of course, Jackson could've been lying about everything when he'd told that he thought the two of them were the closest match he'd ever seen in any reality, but somehow, Daniel didn't believe that. He believed that, at some point in time, they might have been exactly the same. Sometime before Jackson's timeline had differed and things had gone wrong and he'd taken that one step that had turned him into what he'd been.

Daniel saw it all as a reminder. A warning of what might become, if he wouldn't be able to cope with Sha're's death. The memory of her felt different now, more distant. He would learn to live with it. He had friends. He had his team.

"The difference between Jackson and me had nothing to do with his personality or his family history or troubled childhood or whatever. They were the same. It was all about... You. The three of you," Daniel told Jack, Sam and Teal'c, who were gathered around his bed.

It felt more than a bit stupid to spend time lying in a bed in the infirmary, when there really wasn't anything wrong with him, except for a sore throat from the breathing tube. He still had a hard time trying to believe what everyone said had happened. That he really had been shot in the heart and lived to tell the tale, or whatever little he could remember of it. Janet was still treating him as if he might drop dead all of a sudden. She wouldn't let him up and out before she got her expert here. Luckily, she should be arriving any moment now.

"Daniel, the guy was nuts. Lights were on, but there was no one home. A few fries short of a happy meal."

"No, Jack," Daniel shook his head. "He wasn't nuts. He was alone. Well, he had you, though, I think. I think he and the Jack O'Neill in his reality were really good friends. But when he... He killed Teal'c before SG-1 really came to be. He never became friends with Teal'c. And the team was never the same without Teal'c, so I guess he never really came to trust Sam like I do, either. He just... couldn't cope. Couldn't deal with everything that happened. Not without a family."

"I appreciate the great value you give to our friendship, Daniel Jackson, but I find that somewhat difficult to believe."

"Believe what you will, Teal'c. The most important thing is, I want you to know, once again and for all, that I really, truly do forgive you. For killing... For doing what you had to do."

"That is good to hear. And I wish you to know that I am deeply sorry for what happened."

"I know you are, Teal'c. Don't worry about it."

Daniel was about to get awfully sappy, underlining how good friends and how important his three team mates were to him, when Janet and her much-awaited cardiologist made their entrance.

"And this is your critical cardiac gunshot wound case?" the woman who had to be Doctor Carlsen asked incredulously. The first impression Daniel got from her was that she looked exactly like a strict, old fashioned teacher. She was in her fifties, and her graying hair was tied in a bun tight enough to smoothen any wrinkles. She wore half-moon glasses, peering over them with cold gray eyes, and a skeptical look on her face.

"Well, yes," Janet answered. Daniel had rarely hear her sound so wary. Usually, her authority never wavered, but now, she clearly looked up to this other Doc. "As I said when I called, there were complications, really serious ones, and we had no choice but to operate on our own... It looked really bad for a while, there. We had to resort to some, well, slightly experimental methods. Luckily enough, they worked."

Janet opened the file she'd been carrying, picked up some papers and pictures from it, and handed them over to the other Doctor. Daniel could guess that they were the results of that massive array of tests she'd wanted to run after he'd woken up. She'd said she had found absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

"These are from before the--the operation, and these are after it," she added, as an explanation.

Carlsen took them and spent a good while staring at them, frowning.

"Slightly experimental? I'd very much like to see what kind of methods could lead to such instant results."

"I'm afraid it's classified," Janet answered apologetically.

"Ah, yes, that seems to be the thing about this entire facility. Everything's so very secret and classified that I'm hardly allowed to see or hear a thing."

"Anyway... Now that you're here, you could just as well take a look at him, right?"

"Yes, I'd be very interested to."

Janet walked closer to Daniel's bed, and told the rest of SG-1 that, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. This might take a while."

Jack nodded, and got up. "We'll be back soon," he assured Daniel, and lead the three of them out of the room.

"Doctor Daniel Jackson, right?" Doctor Carlsen greeted him, her tone very formal. "I'm Doctor Emma Carlsen. I've been hearing rather extraordinary things about what has happened to you."

"Yeah, so have I," Daniel answered her. "I actually do have an awfully vivid memory of lying on the floor with a hole in my chest, but now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with me."

"You haven't felt anything out of the ordinary after you came to? Chest pain, shortness of breath, palpitations?"

"I've felt just fine. My only problem is that Janet refuses to believe that."

"I'm quite certain I'll be able to convince her. Now, you could help me by taking off your shirt."

Janet had been standing behind Carlsen, silent, her arms crossed. When Daniel cast a glance at her, she winked back at him and closed the curtain around the bed. So, he went on to do as he'd been told, revealing the skin that Martouf had healed.

He couldn't help being a bit amused when he saw Carlsen's reaction to it. Her eyebrows leaped up, creating a complex net of lines on her forehead despite her tight hairdo.

"All right, Janet--what is going on here? This has to be the hugest practical joke anyone has ever tried to pull on me. Luckily I'm not the one paying for the plane tickets and the hours of work I've missed when I've been here on this... this excursion of yours. There is absolutely no way the wounds could have healed this fast, and without any scarring at all, no less!"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but this certainly isn't a joke of any kind. We really almost lost him," Janet told her, sounding apologetic. "As I said, what we did was experimental and highly classified, and I won't be able to tell you more than that. Now, as far as I can tell, he's completely healed, but I'm no cardiologist. I'd still like to hear your opinion."

Doctor Carlsen snorted slightly at that, but then shrugged. "Very well. Since I'm here already, I could just as well examine him."

Daniel wouldn't have minded if she'd just decided not to believe Janet at all and left. He didn't particularly enjoy her examination. She spent a good while tapping and feeling his chest with her cold, skinny fingers, and then another long while listening with her equally freezing stethoscope. All the while, Janet just stood there, looking nervous, leaning her chin against her fist.

Finally, Carlsen stood back and snorted once again. "Well, whatever has or hasn't happened to your patient, Janet, there certainly isn't any trace of it left. There's nothing wrong with him, and I sincerely doubt if there ever was. I hope you're satisfied now."

"I am. You've no idea how good it is to hear that, Doctor--Emma," Janet said, beaming, and shook Carlsen's hand vigorously. "And I really appreciate it that you could come, even though you probably feel like it's been a waste of time."

"Well, not that I've got anything to complain about. It was rather refreshing, really. It's been a good while since I've last checked such a completely healthy heart. Usually, they only give me difficult cases."

"And now, can I go home, Janet?" Daniel asked.

"I'd still like to keep you under surveillance, at least one full day, just in case..."

"Janet, don't be ridiculous. Keeping a perfectly healthy patient confined is both annoying to them and to the staff, and a waste of time and money," Carlsen backed him up. He offered her a thankful smile.

"Ah, all right, then... But I want you to take it easy for the next few days. I'd rather not send you home all by yourself... Of course, I think the rest of SG-1 will be more than happy to keep you company."

Daniel didn't doubt that in the least. His team would be there for him, as always. And unlike a few days ago, when he'd been too lost in his sorrow, awfully close to becoming like Jackson, now he was actually looking forward to spending time with them.

* * *

Author's Note: All rightie. I could just end the story here, but that would feel a bit abrupt to me. I'm going to do some more. Just one more chapter, I think. :) 


	15. Slow Healing

Jack turned to look at Daniel, and smiled to himself. This was so much like the last time, and still, completely different. 

Daniel was, once again, sitting on his sofa next to Carter, watching, what was it, the fifth episode of the Simpsons in a row.

He wasn't laughing a whole lot, but he smiled most of the time, and chuckled every now and then. All in all, he was like a different person from the one Jack had seen before the whole ordeal. He was still a bit more silent than usual, but he looked relaxed, closer to normal. It was strange that the bunch of really horrible stuff that had happened had actually made him seem--better. Not worse, like one might've expected.

Jack sat down next to Daniel. "Hey, we could also watch something else... Not that I'm complaining, though, but, you know..."

"Sure. Or we could just try Scrabble, so I could beat you all," Daniel smirked at him.

"Well, if you insist..."

"Nah, not really. Though, I think we really could watch something else for a change. Teal'c?" Daniel called out.

"I shall be there momentarily," the familiar, deep voice answered from the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Teal'c emerged, carrying a platter of absolutely perfect-looking donuts, their chocolate-colored icing sprinkled with nonpareils.

"This time, I believe I have succeeded completely," he announced.

"Looks extra fine, T. Good job," Jack commended him.

He set the platter on the table, and gestured at them to help themselves.

"I think we could use something to drink, too," Daniel suggested. "Coke, anyone? I can get some..."

"No, just sit down and let me," Jack instantly stopped him.

They were still a bit wary. Fraiser had told that Daniel should take it easy. So, he'd actually been sitting on the sofa for a good while, with everyone else doing all the getting up and fetching things that they needed to do.

This time, he had apparently decided he'd had enough of that. "Jack, no. I'll go, it's fine," he insisted, and stood up.

He'd barely taken a few steps when he stopped, wavering.

"Whoa... Since when was your floor this steep?"

Jack leaped up instantly, and Teal'c was already by his side, a hand around his shoulders.

"Daniel, what's wrong? Not feeling all right after all?"

"Just... A bit dizzy, but I guess it's just that..."

"Right. You're definitely not going to fetch anyone anything. Back on the sofa," Jack ordered.

Teal'c guided him back, and he didn't even try to resist a whole lot. Carter put one hand on his forehead, and one on her own, and frowned. "Colonel, have you got a thermometer? I think he's running a fever."

Jack was about to head away to get one, when he heard Daniel start answering, and had to wait to hear what he had to say.

"Now that you mention it, Sam... I'm not feeling all that great. Guess you might be right."

* * *

Teal'c had, during the day, had the feeling that Daniel Jackson had been somewhat silent and withdrawn, but he had not found it unexpected. Now, he could not help wondering how long he had felt unwell, and simply tried to hide the fact from the rest of them.

It was clear he was experiencing some discomfort. As Colonel O'Neill left to search his supplies, Major Carter strongly encouraged Daniel Jackson to lie down on the sofa.

He had barely placed his head on the armrest when his face twisted with pain, and he gasped out. "Ow--No, no, this isn't happening-"

"What is not happening, Daniel Jackson?"

He had crossed his arms across his chest, which, Teal'c decided, was a very bad sign. Even though Doctor Fraiser had assured them Daniel Jackson's injuries had been completely healed, they had all been worried something like this might come to pass.

"I just figured... Figured I was imagining the whole thing..."

"Daniel, slow down and start at the beginning," Colonel O'Neill's worried voice entered the conversation. He appeared right behind Daniel Jackson's head, gave the thermometer to Major Carter, and tossed a blanket over Daniel.

Daniel shook his head. "Chest hurts," he stated simply.

Teal'c could build the whole story from that. Daniel Jackson had felt some pain in his chest earlier during the day, but it might not have been as bad as now, so he had believed he was only imagining it, possibly because of what he knew had happened to him before. At the moment, it seemed quite clear that he had not simply imagined. Something was not quite right with him.

Despite O'Neill, who tried to stop him, Daniel sat up on the sofa. Surprisingly enough, his breathing evened out somewhat, and some of the lines disappeared from his face.

"Oh, that's better," he told them.

Colonel O'Neill did not appear convinced. Instead, he said, "I'm calling the Doc right now."

As he went on to make the call, and Carter began a cursory examination of Daniel Jackson's condition, Teal'c decided he could make himself useful as well. He went on to collect several pillows and another blanket, and used them to prop Daniel into the seated position which he seemed to favor over lying down.

"I've got Doc Fraiser on the line here," O'Neill informed them. "Carter, anything you can tell her?"

"Daniel's got a low fever, doesn't look that worrying, but he's obviously hurting."

O'Neill nodded, and conveyed the information onwards. "Daniel? The Doc wants to know if you can describe the pain to her, as accurately as possible."

"Nasty?" Daniel suggested, attempting humor, but without much success. "Sharp. On the left side. Gets worse if I breathe too deep."

A moment went by so that O'Neill listened to something Doctor Fraiser said, and everyone else waited silently.

"Right. Yes, we will. We'll be there soon," he then finished the call.

"Daniel, you're going back to the infirmary, right now. Fraiser wants us to keep a close eye on him on the way. As if we wouldn't do that anyway."

* * *

Sam was extremely relieved when they finally reached the SGC. Of course, just the fact that Janet had asked them to get to the infirmary instead of going to the nearest hospital suggested that this might not be as urgent as they thought, but still... Colonel O'Neill had broken all speed limits on the way. She had spent her time sitting next to Daniel, taking his pulse every five minutes, even though it really annoyed him. All the way, she'd found it reassuringly steady, though too fast to her liking.

Daniel actually walked to the infirmary on his own two feet, just supported by Teal'c and the Colonel. He hadn't gotten any worse during the trip, as far as she could tell. For a while there, she'd been afraid he was having a heart attack or something, as little sense as it made. Now, she didn't know what she thought, anymore.

Janet had had plenty of time to wait and get worried after their phone call, and she practically snatched Daniel away from them the moment they got into the infirmary, offering them scolding looks after seeing him walk in, instead of being carried.

"I know, I know, now, you'll say that you need to ask us to leave, and then we go reluctantly," O'Neill told her.

"You read my mind, Colonel," Janet answered. So, once again, they left Daniel to Janet's experienced hands.

* * *

Daniel figured he'd now had enough tests to last for the next ten years or so. If Janet would ever ask for another EKG or echo done on him, he'd probably flee as fast as he could.

Not that he wasn't anxious and worried about whatever was happening to him, though. He'd been so sure Martouf had fixed everything completely. The first hints of pain stabbing in his chest again had made him think that his imagination was too vivid, or that he was just reliving the horrible memories in some weird physical way. But then, slowly but inevitably, it'd grown too strong to ignore.

Janet had given him enough painkillers to deal with the worst of it. Now, he was sitting on an infirmary bed, like so many times before, surrounded by his team, waiting to hear what she had to say.

"Doc, please tell me he's all right," Jack pleaded to her.

"I'm afraid I can't say that. Not exactly. What he's got is a clear, textbook case of pericarditis. That's an inflammation of..."

"Yeah, let me guess," Daniel interrupted her. He couldn't keep the weariness off his voice. All the worried looks he kept getting were driving him crazy. "It's an inflammation of the pericardium, right?"

"But... I thought Martouf fixed everything," Sam uttered. "Should we contact the Tok'ra again?"

Jack's words overlapped hers. He was frowning. "It's not--you can fix it, right, Doc?"

"Now, relax, take it easy, everyone," Janet told them all, making soothing gestures with her hands. "I know it looked a bit frightening there, and I can't say I wasn't worried when I first heard about Daniel's symptoms, but it's not as serious as it might have seemed. Pericarditis isn't unusual as a complication of recent cardiac surgery or trauma. And it's quite treatable."

"Great. How?" Jack asked quickly.

"Aspirin and bed rest, Colonel. As simple as that."

Well, that didn't sound bad, Daniel thought. Except for one thing. "So, I'm stuck here again?"

"Ah, that's the question, really..." Janet answered with a wink. "Now, I'd really like to keep a close eye on you. Just in case, you know. If I hadn't dispatched you to begin with, I'd have noticed this sooner. But as it is, I've every reason to trust you'll recover completely, without any complications... I won't keep you here for long. One or two days. Actually, I'll let you stay in your quarters, if you just show up here regularly. But I think these three nurses here will take care of that for me," she smiled at Teal'c, Sam and Jack.

"You betcha," Jack answered. "Haven't you got that Scrabble board right there, sitting on a shelf in your room, Danny?"

"You feel like losing today, Jack?"

"More than ever."

A few days stuck at the SGC with Jack, Sam and Teal'c--that really didn't sound much worse than a few days stuck at Jack's place with the three of them. Actually, it sounded pretty good.

Somehow, Daniel had felt that he'd gotten over it all almost too easily. The way he'd just suddenly woken up and found that everything was fine. Then, it had been extremely annoying when no one else had been able to accept it that he really was all right. A slightly longer convalescence might not be such a bad thing, after all. It would help to convince them all, both himself an the others.

Healing would always take time. So, if his chest still hurt, it was just like the memory of Sha're that still pained him, every time he concentrated on it. He would get over both. He had friends, and they had time.

He'd really, truly be fine soon enough. Then they could get into trouble again, and then fight their way out of it. Like they always did. Together.

* * *

Author's End Note: Yup, that really was it. The end of the story. I hope you didn't find it unnecessarily mean--I mean, the way I just wouldn't leave my poor whumping target alone... The twisted mean thing in some dark corner of my mind just told that this was how I should finish it. I'd really appreciate it if you could review and let me know what you thought.

And yes, I do inted to write more Daniel-stories in the future. So, beware. ;)


End file.
